The Wrestler – A Nine-Year-Too-Late Review

Yesterday, Tuesday 22nd August 2017, I watched The Wrestler for the countless time – nine years after it was released.

Here’s what I thought…

Bleak
Randy the Ram, The Ayatollah, Billy Bob Banjo, Mr Magnificent: This film has nailed 1980’s wrestler names
I will never, ever, ever have even half as good a body that 55-year-old Micky Rourke has in this film
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Micky Rourke’s Wikipedia page has a section called “Dogs”, which discusses how many dogs he has and how much he loves his dogs. It’s five paragraphs long.
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I’d always heard of the name “Necro Butcher”, but never realised it was the ridiculous chap who fights Randy the Ram in this messy hardcore match
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Todd Barry can play an absolute bellend to perfection
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I’d watch a two hour film of just Micky Rourke serving people at a deli counter
Oh God, the hand
Cesaro!
Bleak

Wrestler

Chef – A Three-Year-Too-Late Review

Yesterday, Tuesday 8th August 2017, I watched Chef for the second time – three years after it was released.

Here’s what I thought…

John Favreau is a joy
John Favreau’s character has cool tattoos
John Favreau’s character is called Carl
I’m called Carl
Scarlett Johansson is in this film
Angry Dustin Hoffman is adorable
I might buy the soundtrack
Name me a poor Oliver Platt performance. GO ON!
John Favreau loves food and cooking so much he wrote, directed and starred in a film about food and cooking so that he could learn how to cook food to a 5 star standard. Genius. What would I do that with? Wrestling, probably. Or calligraphy. We’ve been waiting for a good calligraphy film since The Pillow Book in 1996. Haven’t seen it.
I think I have hair like John Favreau
Scarlett Johansson saying: “Carl, you’ve been miserable ever since I’ve known you” weirdly made me a little sad
Robert Downey Junior
I’ve bought the soundtrack

Chef

Yesterday, Saturday 20th May 2017, I watched Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers for the first time ever – 15 years after it was released.

Here’s what I thought…