Dominic West
Rubbed his chest
With a raw chicken breast
Before getting himself dressed –
All suited and booted
Ready to impress.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
15/10/19 – West
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Author Archives: carltellstales
ME LOVER by The Soppy Gets
1. Call Me Fish I’ll Call You Chips
2. Angels Are You But With Wings
3. Wear Me Like A Waistcoat
4. One In A Million Times Six Thousand
5. Let Me Be Your Toothpick
6. Knife Of Butter: I’m Your Bread
7. I’m Over The Moon, You Flew Me There
8. I’d Swim In Your Eyes (Without Armbands)
9. Salt And Winegar
10. You Can’t Spell ‘Me’ Without ‘You’
11. I Want To Live In Your Heart
12. I Want To Run Through Your Veins
13. I Want To Be Your Shit
© Carl Burkitt 2019
14/10/19 – Usher
Usher
Was asked for directions
And wouldn’t stop crying.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
13/10/19 – Simon
Paul Simon
Poured more wine on his face
As he screamed something about
“Betty” and “diamonds” and “bridges”
Before passing out for weeks.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
12/10/19 – Hutcherson
Josh Hutcherson,
That guy from Hunger Games,
Never went hungry again
After appearing in Hunger Games.
(Rumour has it
He robbed all of his co-stars.
He was LOADED.)
© Carl Burkitt 2019
11/10/19 – French
Dawn French
Could bench press
More than you think.
Try and think about
How much Dawn French
Could bench press
And I promise you
Dawn French
Could bench press
Way more than that.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
10/10/19 – Dance
Charles Dance
Would have a dance
Whenever he got the chance.
Tap, foxtrot, ballroom, ballet,
He’d try every step, every single day.
He wasn’t very good,
But that didn’t matter,
He’d even shake his hips
Over tea and a natter.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
