Chelsea footballer,
Ross Barkley,
Got a job at
Barclays Bank.
He didn’t earn as much
As he did in his old job,
But he certainly didn’t
Stop slide tackling people
Every Saturday afternoon.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Chelsea footballer,
Ross Barkley,
Got a job at
Barclays Bank.
He didn’t earn as much
As he did in his old job,
But he certainly didn’t
Stop slide tackling people
Every Saturday afternoon.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
A fun whodunit.
A whofunit if you will…
You won’t? Fair enough.
#HaikuReview | Carl Burkitt
Jeff Bridges loved crisps with ridges.
Deep ones. Long ones.
Proper dusty flavoured ones.
The kind that made his nose twitch,
His eyes widen, his tongue dance,
His tastebuds paint a picture of simpler times –
A time of climbing trees, jumping in puddles,
Making mistakes and learning from them,
Nuanced debate, helping out your neighbour,
Singing in the bath, smiling at strangers.
Jeff Bridges loved crisps with ridges
(But not shitty cheese and onion ones. Yuck!)
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Ozzy Osbourne
Loved Marmy Marmite
On burny burnt toast
In the morny morning.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Nelly Furtado perched in a tree,
Swallowed a worm and shat
On the head of a passerby.
Told ya, she said.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
1. Peeking Acorn
2. Purple-Headed Pimple
3. Grunting Snout
4. One-Holed Thimble
5. Frozen Mushroom
6. Veiny Pencil Rubber
7. Pig Knuckle
8. Ant’s Chode
9. Pink Pebble
10. Cold SPAM Crumb
11. Pissing Earlobe
12. Half A Lipstick
13. Fleshy Eyelash
© Carl Burkitt 2019