Extra

If I had an extra arm, I’d use it to pull all of my fingers out.
If I had an extra leg, I’d kick myself up the arse.
If I had an extra head, I’d eat two pizzas at the same time.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

642 Challenge: “What kinds of things would you do with an extra arm? What about an extra leg?”

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In charge

If I was in charge
of the world for one day,
the one change I would make
is I would step down
from being in charge
of the world.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

642 Challenge: “If you were asked to be in charge of the world for a day, what kinds of changes would you make?”

Hide me!

I was sitting in a pizza restaurant and felt something moving around my knees. When I lifted up the edge of the tablecloth I saw a small animal looking at me. In a raspy voice, it whispered, “Hide me!”. Naturally, I punched the daemon square in the jaw until it died and hid the evidence in my scarf before finishing the last slice of my vegetarian delight.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

642 Challenge: “You’re sitting at a table in the back of a pizza restaurant, when you feel something moving around your knees. You lift up the edge of the tablecloth to see a small animal that looks at you. In a raspy voice, it whispers, “Hide me!”.

Monster servant

I was offered a personal servant, but the catch was it had to be a monster. You know, as in a werewolf or a mummy. A proper monster. I toyed with the idea of picking my devious step-uncle, but decided to keep the game light and chose the dog skeleton from that TV show Funnybones. It was shit. Couldn’t even carry a mug of tea to my bedroom.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

642 Challenge: “You get to have a personal servant, but you can only choose from a selection of monsters. Do you want the mummy? The werewolf? The Loch Ness Monster?”

My tail

When I woke up with a tail, it was weird. But it came in handy for lots of little jobs: Picking food out of my teeth, swatting flies, hanging from a tree to impress the ladies, wiping finger prints of guns. You know, the usual.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

642 Challenge: “One day you sprout a tail. What do you use it for?”

My mouth

You’re thinking: ‘Could I fit in his mouth?’
The answer’s yes. I could definitely fit you in my mouth.
I wouldn’t do it though.
promise.
Come ‘ere.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

642 Challenge: “Write a poem from the point of view of a lion at the zoo.”