Labour

Torie voted for labour,
which was a good decision
because she was 9 months pregnant
and there wasn’t really a better option.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

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Rotten

Jack wanted to know
how it felt to kill a man.
Until, of course,
he actually killed a man
and he felt positively
rotten about it.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

ABCDinner Party

Aaron’s avocado was ace
Billy’s beans were brill
Colin’s coconuts were class
Donna’s doughnuts were delightful
Eric’s enchiladas were excellent
Freddy’s fish fingers were flippin’ fantastic
Gloria’s gateau was great
Hayley’s honey was heavenly
Izzy’s ice was insightful
Jerry’s jelly was… just…
Kate’s kale was kid-friendly
Larry’s lamb was laughable
Martin’s macaroni was marvellous
Naomi’s nut roast was nae bad
Olivia’s olives were outstanding
Peter’s pizza was particularly pleasing
Quincy’s quiche was quality
Ron’s rolls were rancid
Sally’s salad was sensational
Terry’s trifle was terrific
Ulrich’s udon was unbelievable
Vanessa’s Viennetta was vexing
Walter’s walnuts were wonderful
Xavier’s Xavier soup (shut up, it’s a thing) was xhilarating (piss off)
Yanni’s yams were yummy
Zara’s zucchini was zesty

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Glass half full

I just met a glass half full kind of guy. 
You know the type,
he’d miss his bus but wouldn’t mind
because ‘there’s another one’.
Or he’d rip his trousers but
it was all cool because he was
‘going to get new ones anyway.’
Or his girlfriend would cheat on him
and he would be fine because
‘we are all just pointless blobs of nothing hurtling towards our inevitable demise so who cares?’
You know the type.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Inside a poem

Jemima woke up inside a poem.
It was exactly as she imagined.
The weather reflected her mood.
Trees sang and the sun actually hugged her.
Every step told a story.
The dead were alive.
Pain was a person.
Every single thing was something else.
It was RUBBISH.

© Carl Burkitt 2018