I wish I had a voice like John Cooper Clarke

I wish I had a voice like John Cooper Clarke
It would make writing poems such a lark
I’d just list towns and nouns
And the names of wallies with frowns

I wish I had a voice like John Cooper Clarke
So I could say things that are relatively dark
But still produce smiles for miles
With my rather dark art

I wish I had a voice like John Cooper Clarke
And just read out the phone book
From Anderson to Mark
To Park, Spark and Stark

I wish I had a voice like John Cooper Clarke
And I’m not gonna lie
I would probably just say PIE and TWAT
And really, that’s that.

© Carl Burkitt 2017

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He opened the email and ran his eyes down the offers.

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© Carl Burkitt 2017

Twitter

Melvyn Bragg discusses Wuthering Heights
Nick Robinson’s scared of alternative news sites

The Big Breakfast turns 25
91-year-old Hugh Hefner dies

The PM says we’ve all sacrificed for the banking crisis
Carlton Cole nears move to Crystal Palace

Poets explore the theme of Freedom
As we all plan for World War Threedom

© Carl Burkitt 2017

Boring things I’ve never had the chance to say to you

How’s work?
Saw your holiday pics on Facebook. Looked nice.
Where you living now?
Can’t make it tonight but have one for me!
Reckon you could sponsor me?
Your family good?
#WengerIn
I’m alright, not much to report.
Seen anyone from school lately?
Brexit, eh?
I’ll send you the link.
Let’s get something in the diary.
Happy 30th, mate.
I miss you.

© Carl Burkitt 2017

Delicate

Ralph walked home from the shops
clutching a packet of eggs.

As he felt them gently
move around in their container,
with each step he took,
he thought about how delicate life was.

When Ralph tripped over a curb
and smashed every single egg,
he got a call from him mum
to say his dad had died.

© Carl Burkitt 2017

Trapped

He felt trapped
in an odd-shaped prison
too awkward to escape.
Squashed against the sides he
pushed with his hands and feet
but nothing budged.
Except his bones.
They began moving backwards,
tightening against his skin
which remained still,
odd-shaped,
awkward to escape.

© Carl Burkitt 2017

Comparing apples to oranges

Ethan grabbed an apple and an orange
and decided to finally compare the two.

He looked at the apple. Round.

He looked at the orange. Round.

He stroked the apple. Skin.

He stroked the orange. Skin.

He smelt the apple. Sweet.

He smelt the orange. Sweet.

He crushed the apple. Mummy.

He crushed the orange. Daddy.

© Carl Burkitt 2017