A padel ball lands in the outdoor swimming pool
between morning breast strokers.
Karen (I’m not joking) to my right reacts
like a grenade was thrown into her swim suit.

She puts her toes down on the shallow end
and tuts, ‘This is unacceptable’.
The hairy-chested, goggled-dolphin
to my left and I make eye-contact.

He speeds up first before I can feel my legs
join him in the race towards the fallen missile –
the middle-aged equivalent kicking a football
back to a group of wide-eyed kids in the park.

Carl Burkitt 2026

BOY
We’ve not had a storm for ages!!
Look at the garden drain! It’s like
an ocean pouring over the grass!
The BBQ looks like a jet ski!
Oh wow! I could have a shower
in the garage with all of my toys.

MAN
Shit, the garage is flooding!

POET (same man)
I wonder how much it would cost
to pay a couple of plumbers
to surf through my possessions.

Carl Burkitt 2026

A Frog, a Shooting Star and a Pencil
are standing on the edge of the pool
waiting for the Coach to tell them
which one can jump in first.

The Frog isn’t listening. It’s too busy
waving at the flies in the shallow end.
The Shooting Star doesn’t need to listen,
everything it does is out of this world.

The Frog leaps head first before
a decision is made. The Shooting Star
follows and shines its way into
the Coach’s eyes at a blinding speed.

The Pencil listens too much. It’s stiff
lead bones are holding it to attention
waiting for a nod to try its best.

Later on it will tell me swimming is easy
while scoffing on a cheese sandwich.

Carl Burkitt 2026

I bought
a new A6 notebook
to write a poem

in my old A6 notebook
about buying
a new A6 notebook

despite having
an old A6 notebook.

Carl Burkitt 2026

After Roger Robinson

Swimming underneath the freshly crisp
crust of a crème brûlée with a straw.

The man with biceps on his biceps
in the gym changing room singing along to
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun on Smooth Radio.
His socks are even whiter than his teeth.

A previously unseen directors cut
of the Lord of the Rings film trilogy.
Each one is 17 hours long. I’m alone.
The sofa is a cricodiles mouth.

“Why are dolphins not fish?”
“Why do toilets have water in them?”
“Why do I have lips?”

An endless sudden phone call in Southampton.
I’m sitting on a windowsill of the room
above a house party of people
unaware this life is over.

The memory of the man
who has never met my child
but remember’s my child name
because he has chosen to be someone
who treasures what people treasure.

“Here’s your salted popcorn
and large peppermint tea, sir.
Enjoy the film.”

Carl Burkitt 2026

Erling Haaland is lying
on his trampoline, looking up
at the sky wondering
if he chose the right career.
Imagine flying a plane –
having actual life
and death in your hands.
The chance to rest
your soles as they fly
over continents excited
to have you explore them.
No one has ever told
a pilot they’re shit
based on the airline
who hired them.

Carl Burkitt 2026

He’s making an astronaut out of A4 white paper
for show and tell next Friday. Gravity pulls
my heart through my intestines as I watch him
navigate scissors around what he tells me

are space boots and space gloves. Worry
is a black hole. A place for me to imagine him
fingerless in A&E, wowing nurses with jokes.
“What’s an astronaut’s favourite button on a keyboard?”

Carl Burkitt 2026

My shadow is a 5-year-old boy
attached to the bottom of my spine
asking questions of my bones.

Are dinosaurs in heaven?
How do you touch the moon?
When will I have an operation?

It’s followed me into the bathroom
to show me how the bumps on the top
of its salt and vinegar rice cake
looks a bit like the outline of a duck’s face.

Do planes have windscreen wipers?
Do bungalows have attics?
Do you know anyone who is invisible?

The sun has gone to bed and convinced
my shadow to do the same. The silence
in the house is a miserable, century long.

Carl Burkitt 2026

He can’t spell halloumi
but who cares
when he can make

my sister laugh
while the world ends
with a cheesy jokes.

Carl Burkitt 2026

Give me the confidence of the 15-year-old
on this train at Stroud announcing to his six mates:

“You know what I think would be
a really fun feature for an edition of FIFA?

“Referee Career Mode… Just think about
all the tough decisions you’d get to make.”

Carl Burkitt 2026