A padel ball lands in the outdoor swimming pool
between morning breast strokers.
Karen (I’m not joking) to my right reacts
like a grenade was thrown into her swim suit.

She puts her toes down on the shallow end
and tuts, ‘This is unacceptable’.
The hairy-chested, goggled-dolphin
to my left and I make eye-contact.

He speeds up first before I can feel my legs
join him in the race towards the fallen missile –
the middle-aged equivalent kicking a football
back to a group of wide-eyed kids in the park.

Carl Burkitt 2026