Emily Blunt
Became a stunt woman
For Tom Cruise,
But soon realised she was too risk averse
To do any stunts.
So Emily Blunt
Hired a stunt woman to use
Whenever she was a stunt woman for Tom Cruise.
It was a pretty confusing and expensive
Cost for film producers.
Plus, Tom Cruise always did his own stunts anyway.
It was pointless.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Vice. Pres. Baby. Do
Do do do do-do do do.
(Hummed this the whole time.)
#HaikuReview | Carl Burkitt
James Blunt
Became a stunt man
For Tom Cruise,
But soon realised he was too risk averse
To do any stunts.
So James Blunt
Hired a stunt man to use
Whenever he was a stunt man for Tom Cruise.
It was a pretty confusing and expensive
Cost for film producers.
Plus, Tom Cruise always did his own stunts anyway.
It was pointless.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Jennifer Love Hewitt
Really loved Chewits.
When she had one in her jaws
She’d ignore any chore
And mumble
“I ain’t gonna do it.”
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Rihanna
Got caught in the rain.
It was so refreshing.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Seal
Cooked a meal
Of veal
And jellied eel.
It was gross.
(He still scoffed the lot though.)
© Carl Burkitt 2019
John Travolta
Felt revolting
After making love
To a chicken fajita.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
1. Milk and One, No… TWO Sugars
2. Before I Knew It, It Was Midnight!
3. Spade a Spade
4. Fine, Just a Little Top Up
5. I Only Went and Told Her to Her Face!
6. See You on the Dance Floor
7. Oh, I Couldn’t
8. No, I Shouldn’t
9. Oh, Go On Then!
10. What You See is What You Get
11. Couldn’t Help Myself
12. I’d Be Here All Day Otherwise!
13. Wine O’Clock?
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Carl tells tales 