Author Archives: carltellstales

16/7/19 – Bale

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Gareth Bale
Enjoyed being from Wales
And loved saying stuff like:
“I’m Gareth Bale from Wales.”
Or “I’m from Wales, I’m Gareth Bale.”
Or “I’m Gareth Wales from Bale.”
Or “I’m Welsh, call me Gareth Belsh.”
Gareth Bale
Really enjoyed being from Wales.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

15/7/19 – Foley

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Scott Foley,
You know, that bloke
Whose first role was in Sweet Valley High
And whose breakthrough performance
Was in Felicity as Noel Crane
And had recurring guest appearances in
Scrubs and Dawson’s Creek and was nominated for a
Teen Choice Award for Choice Movie Villain
For his role in Scream 3
And appeared in both Grey’s Anatomy and House
Then Scandal, which led to a place on the regular cast,
Then became the lead in ABC’s drama Whiskey Cavalier
And even transitioned into directing.
Yeah? You know him? Scott Foley.
He shat himself.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Blue

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I woke up and the world was blue.
The stress was too high
to write a song like Eiffel 65,
each second spent trying to survive.
Earth was a navy camouflage.
I knew my clothes were on the floor somewhere,
I couldn’t even see where the bed finished.
Light was definitely shining
on my blue house
through my blue window
but you wouldn’t know.
The beams were as blue as my girlfriend.
People always told me my eyes were blue,
I finally saw what they meant.

© Carl Burkitt 2019