Chiwetel Ejiofor
Heard a knock at the door.
He opened the door
And couldn’t believe what he saw
Just there at his door.
It was a boar!
There was a boar
At the door
Of Chiwetel Ejiofor!
Imagine!
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Jack White
Was up all night
Worrying about Earth’s plight.
The next day
He legally changed his name
To Jack Green
And slept like a baby all week.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Jaden Smith
Made a dish
Of braised fresh fish
To hug and kiss.
Nom nom mwah.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
1. On Your Marks, Get Set, Love
2. Four-Four-You
3. Gold Heart
4. Game, Set, Perfect Match
5. Kiss Boxing
6. Check (You Out) Mate
7. Sports Date
8. Podium of Love
9. Goodminton
10. You Jitsu
11. Snooker Cute
12. Court You
13. Bowl Me Over
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Jack Whitehall
Had a frightful cold.
He took 12 Nytols
To help him sleep
But despite all the drugs
He lay awake all week.
(Turns out it was speed.
He’d taken 12 speeds.)
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Today, I must say,
I enjoyed Yesterday. Go
Watch it tomorrow.
#HaikuReview | Carl Burkitt
50 Cent
Put his best suit on
And felt a million dollars.
Or, as he called it,
100,000,000 cent.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
I went in nervous
But I’m pleased to report it
Lived up to the… buzz.
#HaikuReview | Carl Burkitt
My mashed potato came to life.
I had so many questions:
How did it feel to be peeled?
Was the masher gentle to you?
What’s it like being half butter?
What are you scared of most –
my teeth, my guts or my anus?
Do you mind if I put gravy on you?
Do you have any last words?
My mashed potato muttered “no comment” every time.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
642 Challenge: “You are eating dinner at your Grandma’s house, when suddenly, the food on your plate comes to life. Only you notice. What do you do?”
Edie Falco
Missed being in the Sopranos
So ate four tonnes of pasta,
Drank eight bottles of red wine
And called her dog a “Gabagool”.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Carl tells tales 