31/7/19 – Wanchope

Posted on July 31, 2019 by carltellstales

Retired striker Paulo Wanchope
Always ate two chops,
Just to spite his parents.

30/7/19 – Kudrow

Posted on July 30, 2019 by carltellstales

Lisa Kudrow
Got herself a cat.
And guess what….
Yep.
Yep.
Yep.
It sure was.

29/7/19 – Alonso

Posted on July 29, 2019 by carltellstales

Formula One driver Fernando Alonso
Loved saying “I’m gonzo!”
When leaving a pit stop.
He’d say before going to sleep too.
And leaving any shop.
He’d say it when getting off a bus
And when he reaching peak drunkenness.
He promised all his mates
He’d say it if he was ever sent to prison
As the court guards dragged him to his cell.
He couldn’t wait!

EMOTIONS by Emo G

Posted on July 29, 2019 by carltellstales

1. Kiss Face Mistake
2. Crying Through the Laughter
3. Aubergine? Nobergine.
4. Pouting, Not Whistling
5. Shitfaced
6. I’m Not a Tomato, I’m a Furious
7. They’re Pig Hearts on My Eyes
8. I Love My Tiny Hands
9. My Happy Face :- (
10. My Sad Face :- )
11. Sunglasses Don’t Mean I’m Cool
12. I’m No Angel, That’s a Frisbee
13. You’d Be Smiling Too if Your Eyes Looked Like the Star Trek Symbol

28/7/19 – Lloyd

Posted on July 28, 2019 by carltellstales

Cher Lloyd
Was bored
So started talking
Like an old New Yorker.
“I’m boyd!”
Yelled Cher Lloyd.
“Proper fuckin’ boyd.”

27/7/19 – H

Posted on July 27, 2019 by carltellstales

WWE’s Triple H
Wrestled not single, not double,
But triple snakes.
They kept on biting
Until triple late
And in the morning
He triple ached.

26/7/19 – Jagger

Posted on July 26, 2019 by carltellstales

Mick Jagger
Wouldn’t stop shaking his hips.
The sound of his femur
Rattling around in his pelvis
Inspired a Keith Richards riff
And they shot back to Number 1
With “Ode to My Bone.”

25/7/19 – Lafferty

Posted on July 25, 2019 by carltellstales

Actor James Lafferty
Caught himself in the mirror
And thought
‘I recognise you, but from what?’
Then he realised,
It was from that photo
Of him in the hallway.

Red