Man of Action by Brian Bilston
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Author Archives: carltellstales
6/8/19 – Horner
When Geri Horner
Got a cold
She’d say:
“I don’t feel Halliwell.”
It was kind of gibberish
But also kind of made sense.
Either way, it made her feel better.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
5/8/19 – Hoffman
Reid Hoffman,
Co-founder of LinkedIn,
Got a new job.
No one congratulated him.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
BREW MAKE ME FEEL by Kath Faye and The Tea Leaves
1. A Cup of Me
2. Sweet Enough
3. Good Cup Bad Cup
4. Wouldn’t Say Brew to a Goose
5. Brew Make Me Feel
6. No Confusion with Our Infusion
7. Builders of Bridges
8. Milk and Two Buggers
9. You Saucer Sod
10. I’d Walk Chamomiles for You
11. Cups and Rooibos
12. Stirring Up Trouble
13. Milking It
© Carl Burkitt 2019
4/8/19 – Thornton
Billy Bob Thornton
Popped some shorts on
And went for a run.
It started off real fun
But he took a wrong turn
And it soon bloody hurt
Around mile 51,
Little did he know
He was only halfway done.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
3/8/19 – Sheen
Martin Sheen’s spleen
Exploded.
Poor bastard.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Animals
Funny and witty
And interesting and life
And painful and eurgh.
#HaikuReview | Carl Burkitt
2/8/19 – Blue
DJ Jonas Blue
Realised his initials, JB,
Rhymed with his job title DJ.
Only if you said them backwards, of course.
BJ.
DJ.
DJ Jonas Blue
Changed his name to BJ DJ
And was THRILLED when the clever rhyming name
Saw his ticket sales soar.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
1/8/19 – Mendes
Director Sam Mendes
Disliked when his friend said
Stuff like: “I really enjoyed Road to Perdition.”
“No you didn’t!”
Mendes would cry. “Shut up!”
Which was a shame,
Because his mate LOVED
Road to Perdition.
He really did.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Pink
Her tiny pink fingernails
rapidly poked all 14
lift buttons.
Chance to see more of the world
I smiled.
No, that’s naughty!
her mum snapped,
leaving the little girl and me
unsure who she was talking to.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Carl tells tales 