1. Whole Latte Love
2. Espresso Yourself
3. The Grande Duke of York
4. Cappuccino Woman No Cry
5. Americano Pie
6. Smile Like You Bean It
7. Suspicious Grinds
8. Barista Tambourine Man
9. Affogato-bout Dre
10. Mochacabana
11. Ground Dog
12. Don’t Go Breaking Macchiato
13. Cortadon’t You (Forget About Me)
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Fat Joe
Was very happy
With himself.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Andy Samberg
Ate a hamburg-
“Eeerrr,” he said.
“Tastes like dog shit.”
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Thierry Henry
May have retired from playing football
But any chance he got
He would kick one thing between two other things.
A stone between two leaves,
A bag between two trees,
A frisbee between two dogs
A banana between two frogs,
A mouse between two owls
A firework between two clouds.
(The last one was the trickiest,
But not impossible – believe it or not.)
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Madonna,
When drunk,
Told people she was Diego Maradona.
No one believed her,
But it sure didn’t stop her.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
the sun setting on a Sunday.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Electrical wires remind me of dad
and how I never listen.
Earth, Live and Neutral.
I remembered that.
Blue, Green & Yellow Stripes and Brown.
I remembered that.
But which was which to fix our light switch?
The Earth is blue.
Maybe it’s that.
But earth, as in dirt, is brown.
Yeah.
It’s got to be that.
Yeah.
Snip.
And then it hit me:
The yellow rays of the sun
help the green grass grow.
Bastard.
Earth is the fucking
stripy green and yellow.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Liverpool football-player
Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain
Hyphenated the-last
Two words-of
Each line-he
Would write-down.
It was-charming
I guess-but
Also tough-to
Read. But-when
Said out-loud
It didn’t-make
A difference-really.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Halle Berry
Really missed being Catwoman.
She went to the local fancy dress shop
But they’d just sold the last catsuit,
So she scuttled up the drainpipe
To cry of the roof
(And eat a dead rat).
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Carl tells tales 