Solange Knowles
Played some bowls
And smashed her competition.

Her style was smooth
She nailed every move
And was a forgone conclusion to win.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Zinedine Zidane
Flew to Japan
On a plane made from marzipan.

It may have been a dream…
He couldn’t remember.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Meryl Streep
Found a sheep
And called it little Oscar.

She picked him up,
Thanked God for her luck,
As the other sheep roared with applause.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Prince William
Grabbed his water gun
And shot Prince Harry in the face.

He forgot to check the chamber
And was annoyed to discover
It wasn’t filled with water,
But the leftovers of his favourite veal paste.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Lionel Richie
Felt a bit itchy.
He scratched his skin
With his fingers
And let his nails linger
Over the bit just above the bum,
The coccyx.
Lionel laughed at that silly word
And scratched it hard until it hurt.
What a feeling.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Paula Abdul
Bought a swimming pool.
It was empty, but that didn’t matter.
She filled it with friends for a natter
And swam in the waves of their
Delightful pitter patter.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Paul McCartney
Washed his face with cheese.
He replaced his eyes with peas
And sewed feces into his dungarees.
Well, he had to do something fun with all his cash,
Didn’t he?

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Venus Williams
Went to Gillingham.
It was alright.

© Carl Burkitt 2018