Turn up for the books

Posted on January 22, 2016 by carltellstales

The boy had a lollipop.
It was so lovely
he ate the stick too.
His mum told him off
and 10 years later
he qualified as a surgeon.

Box

Posted on January 18, 2016 by carltellstales

There was a box on the floor.
The people nearby looked at the box.
They didn’t touch the box.
They were scared of the box.
A professional man in a big jacket and boots approached the box.
He touched the box
Then walked away from the box.
The people nearby never found out what was inside the box.

Fad

Posted on January 15, 2016 by carltellstales

Emma was four days into her new diet.

She was starving.

On her commute home she scoffed a copy of Closer Magazine
And choked to death on a pic of Davina McCall’s elbow.

Revenant

Posted on January 12, 2016 by carltellstales

Leonardo DiCaprio finally won an Oscar. The year was 2213 and he looked terrible.

Schrödinger’s cat

Posted on January 11, 2016 by carltellstales

Mrs Schrödinger opened the box and stabbed her husband’s cat.

“It’s dead!” she yelled. “Now stop fucking about and drive me to my mother’s.”

To completion

Posted on January 10, 2016 by carltellstales

Miriam fell in love with her Sims 4 character and treated him to a brand new sound system.

Whilst watching him dance in his pants, she leant forward for a kiss and cracked a front tooth on her laptop.

But despite the searing pain in her gums and her mouth filling with blood Miriam, the trooper, continued touching herself to completion.

Such a pretty house

Posted on January 8, 2016 by carltellstales

He had such a pretty house
She had such a pretty garden.
He had no one in his pretty house
She had them all
Underneath her pretty garden.

Inspired by lyrics from ‘No Suprises’ by Radiohead.

Puppet

Posted on January 4, 2016 by carltellstales

The puppet really didn’t like his job
But he was a people pleaser,
So he danced for the crowds
And faked a smile when
His master popped his dick inside him.