The kids in Pontypandy have been wasting
taxpayers money for 34 years
accidentally setting fire to treehouses,
getting lost in mountains, knocking over lit BBQs,
tying each other to chairs in rooms covered
in flammable liquids, stealing batteries
from smoke alarms to use in a boom box,
going sailing without permission and losing the ores.
It’s mainly Norman Price. Fan theories think
maybe he is Sam’s illegitimate son
as they are the only redheads in town.
Maybe they are long lost brothers.
Maybe they are the same person
from alternate universes.
Maybe they are just a metaphor.
Maybe they just need some sleep.

© Carl Burkitt 2022