Boring things I’ve never had the chance to say to you

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How’s work?
Saw your holiday pics on Facebook. Looked nice.
Where you living now?
Can’t make it tonight but have one for me!
Reckon you could sponsor me?
Your family good?
#WengerIn
I’m alright, not much to report.
Seen anyone from school lately?
Brexit, eh?
I’ll send you the link.
Let’s get something in the diary.
Happy 30th, mate.
I miss you.

© Carl Burkitt 2017

Delicate

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Ralph walked home from the shops
clutching a packet of eggs.

As he felt them gently
move around in their container,
with each step he took,
he thought about how delicate life was.

When Ralph tripped over a curb
and smashed every single egg,
he got a call from him mum
to say his dad had died.

© Carl Burkitt 2017

The Wrestler – A Nine-Year-Too-Late Review

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Yesterday, Tuesday 22nd August 2017, I watched The Wrestler for the countless time – nine years after it was released.

Here’s what I thought…

  • Bleak
  • Randy the Ram, The Ayatollah, Billy Bob Banjo, Mr Magnificent: This film has nailed 1980’s wrestler names
  • I will never, ever, ever have even half as good a body that 55-year-old Micky Rourke has in this film
  • Bleak
  • Micky Rourke’s Wikipedia page has a section called “Dogs”, which discusses how many dogs he has and how much he loves his dogs. It’s five paragraphs long.
  • Bleak
  • I’d always heard of the name “Necro Butcher”, but never realised it was the ridiculous chap who fights Randy the Ram in this messy hardcore match
  • Bleak
  • Todd Barry can play an absolute bellend to perfection
  • Bleak
  • I’d watch a two hour film of just Micky Rourke serving people at a deli counter
  • Oh God, the hand
  • Cesaro!
  • Bleak

© Carl Burkitt 2017

Wrestler