31/5/18 – Eastwood

Posted on May 31, 2018 by carltellstales

Clint Eastwood
Took off his hood
And let the rain hit his head.

He danced around,
Ate mud off the ground
And slept in a puddle
Instead of his bed.

30/5/18 – Gerrard

Posted on May 30, 2018 by carltellstales

Steven Gerrard
Thought books were hard.
Not hard as in hard,
Hard as in ‘ard.
Tough. Buff.
You know,
Double ‘ard.
He said:
“I read every day,
It beats exercise in every way.
When books and words are long
They make you strong.
They fill your brain with thoughts
That no muscle can thwart.”
He picked up the nearest book
And smashed his skull with it.
“See,” he said.
“Didn’t even hurt me.”

29/5/18 – Gallagher

Posted on May 29, 2018 by carltellstales

Noel and Liam Gallagher
Shared a passionate kiss.
Noel awoke from his gross nightmare
And daydreamed about Oasis.

There’s no club better

Posted on May 28, 2018 by carltellstales

There’s no club better
than Exeter.
And that’s coming from a Swindon Town fan.
A disappointed mid-table man.

The sad end to the season you’ve had,
you have every reason to feel bad.
But you’re amazing.
I mean it.
The grass ain’t greener elsewhere,
trust me, I’ve seen it.
I’d give everything to support a club like yours,
a team that plays for wins, not uneventful draws.

There’s no club better
than Exeter.
And that’s coming from a Swindon Town fan.
A disappointed mid-table man.
A team with a boss with a fake orange tan.

Your lads wore the stripes with pride this year
and went at League 2 with zero fear.
St. James Park was alive in style
As Tisdale and his staff went the extra mile.
Fourth ain’t first
but it could’ve been worse because

there’s NO club better
than Exeter.
And that’s coming from a Swindon Town fan.
A disappointed mid-table man.
A team with a boss with a fake orange tan.
A side with no defensive plan
or passion or voice within the stands.

Oh my days I’ll do whatever I can
to become a wonderful, brave, loyal,
handsome, awesome old Grecian.