Jada Pinkett Smith
Could never quite scratch
Her trinket itch.
Whenever she saw one
She had to buy it.
She had loads.
Seriously, a dangerous amount.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Baz Luhrmann
Took a German
For a drive in his car.
They went slow,
They went fast,
They went really far.
And when Baz asked:
“You like?”
The German smiled
And said: “Ja.”

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Amy Poehler drank a drink that was cola,
Used some skates that were roller,
Brushed her tooth that was molar,
Watched an eclipse that was solar,
Saw a bear that was polar,
Replaced some ink that was toner
And went to bed all aloner.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Tom Hardy could hardly believe
His luck.
He was hit hard by the truck
But was perfectly alive.
His neck and back and hands and eyes and face and legs and arms and fingers and toes and knees and ears and elbows and chin
Were all broken,
But my word he felt lucky.
(And a bit sick, too)

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Sam Neill loved to squeal.
He’d squeal in the morning.
He’d squeal in the evening.
He’d squeal when he was happy.
He’d squeal when he was sad.
He’d squeal when he was being good.
He’d squeal when he was being bad.
He didn’t quite know why he loved to squeal
But I suspect it’s because it rhymed with his surname, Neill.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Niall Horan
Was called a moron
By a stranger in the street.
He was angry.
He was fuming.
He was hotter than the hottest heat.
He screamed: “I’m not a moron!”
And stormed off in a huff,
Before realising
He was wearing mittens on his feet.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Jason Statham was a bit of a stats man.
But only when it came to ham.
He had stats about the whole pig, in fact.
Like, number of bacons you get in a pack,
Or how many sausages you get in a pack,
Or how much gammon you get in a pack.
Yeah, it’s true,
Jason Statham was a real stats man
But only when it came to ham.

© Carl Burkitt 2018