Usain Bolt
Did everything quickly.
Yep, EVERYTHING.
His dentist was not happy.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
21/8/19 – Bolt
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20/8/19 – Adams
Amy Adams
Loved national anthems
So much she wrote one for herself.
It went:
“I am Amy and I am a country
And I quite like eating sandwiches.”
She wasn’t a great writer.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
FULL OF BEANS by The Flat Whites
1. Whole Latte Love
2. Espresso Yourself
3. The Grande Duke of York
4. Cappuccino Woman No Cry
5. Americano Pie
6. Smile Like You Bean It
7. Suspicious Grinds
8. Barista Tambourine Man
9. Affogato-bout Dre
10. Mochacabana
11. Ground Dog
12. Don’t Go Breaking Macchiato
13. Cortadon’t You (Forget About Me)
© Carl Burkitt 2019
19/8/19 – Joe
Fat Joe
Was very happy
With himself.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
18/8/19 – Samberg
Andy Samberg
Ate a hamburg-
“Eeerrr,” he said.
“Tastes like dog shit.”
© Carl Burkitt 2019
17/8/19 – Henry
Thierry Henry
May have retired from playing football
But any chance he got
He would kick one thing between two other things.
A stone between two leaves,
A bag between two trees,
A frisbee between two dogs
A banana between two frogs,
A mouse between two owls
A firework between two clouds.
(The last one was the trickiest,
But not impossible – believe it or not.)
© Carl Burkitt 2019
16/8/19 – Madonna
Madonna,
When drunk,
Told people she was Diego Maradona.
No one believed her,
But it sure didn’t stop her.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Falling out with a loved one is
the sun setting on a Sunday.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Brown
Electrical wires remind me of dad
and how I never listen.
Earth, Live and Neutral.
I remembered that.
Blue, Green & Yellow Stripes and Brown.
I remembered that.
But which was which to fix our light switch?
The Earth is blue.
Maybe it’s that.
But earth, as in dirt, is brown.
Yeah.
It’s got to be that.
Yeah.
Snip.
And then it hit me:
The yellow rays of the sun
help the green grass grow.
Bastard.
Earth is the fucking
stripy green and yellow.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Ordinary Sex by Ellen Bass
Image
Carl tells tales 