1. All Aboard The Ship-Jumper
2. How Dare I…? How Dare Thy?!
3. You Do You, You Pig-Fucker
4. Turncoat? Turntrousers Too
5. You, Yourself And You
6. Have Your Cake And Fuck It
7. Four-Faced
8. You Would Do Anything For You…
9. …But You Wouldn’t Do Me
10. Going Down Without The Ship
11. Both Sides Of Your Mouth (Are Liars)
12. Stabbed In The Back Via The Front
13. Judass-Hole

© Carl Burkitt 2019

1. Peeking Acorn
2. Purple-Headed Pimple
3. Grunting Snout
4. One-Holed Thimble
5. Frozen Mushroom
6. Veiny Pencil Rubber
7. Pig Knuckle
8. Ant’s Chode
9. Pink Pebble
10. Cold SPAM Crumb
11. Pissing Earlobe
12. Half A Lipstick
13. Fleshy Eyelash

© Carl Burkitt 2019

1. Everything Is Boring
2. I Wish I Had HD Eyes
3. Me, Myself and iPhone
4. First Ever Birdsong
5. Ha, Twitter. I Get It.
6. Dancing To Birdsong
7. I Understand The Lyrics To Birdsong
8. I Want To Be Birdsong
9. Birdsong
10. Birdsong Part II
11. How Does One Marry A Birdsong?
12. I Think I Just Kissed A Birdsong
13. BIRDSONGBIRDSONGBIRDSONG

© Carl Burkitt 2019

1. Something About Love
2. Something About Partying
3. Something About A Girl
4. Something About Love Again
5. Something About The Summer
6. Something About The Sun
7. Something About The Moon
8. Something About Love Again Again
9. Something About Selfies
10. Something About Not Texting Back
11. Something About Texting Too Much
12. Something About Hate
13. Something About Nothing

© Carl Burkitt 2019

1. Mercury, Venus, Earth, Laughs
2. Time And Space Continue, Mum
3. Shooting Shart
4. Dalek Bread
5. Whitney, We Have A Problem
6. Rock Around The Spock
7. UFOff
8. Space Cocket
9. Obi-Wan Kenobi-Nil
10. Horrorscopes
11. Milky Weyhey!!!
12. Chewy And Han’s Duet
13. Why Don’t You Come On Over Gravity?

© Carl Burkitt 2019

1. Cheese And Chive Talking
2. Prawn Cocktail Party
3. She Tortilla Me A Thing Or Two
4. Say Cheese! And Onion
5. Wotsthat?
6. I Was Born Ready Salted
7. Ally’s McCoys
8. Onion Ring Me When You Get The Chance
9. Hula Hoops Upside Your Head
10. Ridged, For Tongue Pleasure
11. There’s No Smokey Bacon Without Fire
12. Ken And Barbie Queue
13. Uncool, Unoriginal

© Carl Burkitt 2019

1. Really Slow Dimmer Switch
2. Earth’s Black Duvet
3. Power Cut At Mother Nature’s House
4. Good Morning, Australia
5. Sky’s Eye Patch
6. Star Acne
7. Where DOES The Time Go?
8. Here We Go Again
9. Red Sky At Night, Maybe It’s Still Day
10. Red Sky In The Morning, It’s Definitely Day
11. One More Sleep ‘Til Breakfast
12. 12 Hour Blink
13. Sinking Tangerine

© Carl Burkitt 2019

1. 2 Mouse Mats
2. 2 Battered Fish
3. 2 Rats, Snitching
4. 2 Doggers
5. 2 Cat Burglars
6. 2 Tiger Loaves, Out Of Date
7. 2 Lion Bastards
8. 2 Elephants In The Room
9. 2 Giraffes Not Laughing
10. 2 Robin Thieves
11. 2 Beavers…
12. 2 Beatles (The Worst Two)
13. 2 Penguin Bars At A Time

© Carl Burkitt 2019

1. Call Me Fish I’ll Call You Chips
2. Angels Are You But With Wings
3. Wear Me Like A Waistcoat
4. One In A Million Times Six Thousand
5. Let Me Be Your Toothpick
6. Knife Of Butter: I’m Your Bread
7. I’m Over The Moon, You Flew Me There
8. I’d Swim In Your Eyes (Without Armbands)
9. Salt And Winegar
10. You Can’t Spell ‘Me’ Without ‘You’
11. I Want To Live In Your Heart
12. I Want To Run Through Your Veins
13. I Want To Be Your Shit

© Carl Burkitt 2019

1. My Hands Are Tied
2. Fill Out This Form
3. Need The Original Copy
4. Confirmation Code
5. Sign…On…The…Dotted…Line…
6. BLOCK CAPS
7. Mother’s Maiden Name
8. Black Ink, Not Blue
9. No Photos Will Be Accepted
10. Leave This Space Blank
11. Cross The Ts
12. Dot The Is
13. Special Character

© Carl Burkitt 2019