PJ got out of the wrong side of the bed.
He fell out of the window and twatted on the floor.
Three passing girls laughed
at his tiny morning glory.

© Carl Burkitt 2014

Huh?
Hannah
stabs bats?
Hannah…
Huh?!

© Carl Burkitt 2014

The Geordie
Gave up writing poetry
Because he was so bad at similes,
Like

© Carl Burkitt 2014

The Geordie
Gave up selling fruit and veg
Because he would always mispronounce lychees,
Like.

© Carl Burkitt 2014

The Geordie
Gave up working on social media
Because he kept forgetting how you
measure Facebook popularity,
Likes.

© Carl Burkitt 2014

Fly off the handle
Fly from the nest
Nest of birds
Nest of chicks
Chicks are the babies
Chicks are the weak
Weak at the knees
Weak but strong
Strong for their sisters
Strong for their brothers
Brothers stay silent
Brothers stay strong
Strong for each other
Strong for their sisters
Sisters stay silent
Sisters give hugs
Hugs for their mothers
Hugs for their fathers
Fathers stay silent
Fathers make jokes
Jokes for their work mates
Jokes for their wives
Wives stay sober
Wives stay strong
Strong for their loved ones
Strong for their flock
Flock to the sunrise
Flock to the start
Start to be homely
Start to be you
You are for something
You are for someone
Someone is waiting
Someone is gone
Gone for the winter
Gone for the the spring
Spring to attention
Spring to begin
Begin to amaze me
Begin to forget
Forget to come home
Forget to look back
Back where they came from
Back to the start
Start to be thankful
Start to say thanks
Thanks for the memories
Thanks for the nest
Nest
Memories

© Carl Burkitt 2014

A cinquain poem…

Peter
was a silly
bloody fool on Thursday
He only thought it was Friday…
The dick!

© Carl Burkitt 2014

The man looked at the hat.
The hat looked at the man.
The man smiled at the hat.
The hat frowned at the man.
The man put the hat on his head.
The hat sighed
And farted on the man. 

© Carl Burkitt 2014

The pervert started perving on the sexy lady
From 50 perverted feet
As he pervily cycled towards her
on his great big pervy perv bike

He perved on her boobs.
He perved on her legs.
He perved on her lips.
He perved on her nose.
And as he went by
He perved on her side
from her sexy head to her sexy toes.

With her now behind his pervy back
He opened his perverted mouth and perved out a pervily, pervy piece of perv
But his pathetically perverted, pervy front wheel
Pervily clipped the curb
Sending him over his rock hard, pervaciously perverted
handlebars.

The pervert landed pervily on the ground
and died
With a smile upon his face
And a bollard right up his arse.

The perv.

© Carl Burkitt 2014

The man grabbed the arse
of the female stranger.
She’d trodden on a land mine
and her bits were everywhere.

© Carl Burkitt 2014