The house had four windows,
One door and a roof.
The decor was quite like Bauhaus
And the owner used the place as a
Sort of “prostitute stockroom”.

© Carl Burkitt 2015

The cat was gorgeous
and an absolute handful.
She loved being stroked
but if you so much as even
looked at another animal
she’d bite your bloody tits off.

© Carl Burkitt 2015

The man lost an ear.
He was fuming but secretly loved
the fact he finally had an
icebreaker for work functions.

© Carl Burkitt 2015

The wrestler did some wrestling.
It was the “fake” wrestling
but he really hurt his back.
He went home and his wife cried,
until his cheque came in and they
bought a brand new house.

© Carl Burkitt 2015

Every morning I wake up
I wonder if today will be my day.

Then I leave the house;
And I see you
And the love you receive
And the joy that you share

And I go back inside,
clean my balls and
wonder if tomorrow will be my day.

© Carl Burkitt 2015

Mary Berry disrobed and
stepped into the shower.

As she rinsed her hair
with strawberry jam

And scrubbed her bits
with sponge cake,

She giggled at how much
she loved her job.

© Carl Burkitt 2015