Silvio bumped into his ex boyfriend.
He looked amazing. Silvio did not.
It was so awkward, Silvio legged it.
But his ex boyfriend chased after him!
Silvio ran faster and faster and
harder and harder and passed out
10 feet from the marathon’s finish line.
© Carl Burkitt 2018
Life would sometimes get too much for Charlie. On days like that he would unzip himself, climb out of his skin and start all over. When things got too much again, he’d repeat the process. Again and again and again. His mates called him ‘Snaky’.
© Carl Burkitt 2018
Shaun tore up the rule book
After his boss signed-off to do so.
© Carl Burkitt 2018
Justin had a weekend away. When he got home, he realised he’d walked into the wrong house! It was a much nicer house, to be honest, so decided to stay. Justin loved holidays.
© Carl Burkitt 2018
All of the love was used up. People stopped complimenting each other, opening doors for one another and generally just smiling. Fortunately, Jeremy managed to reserve a handful of love from the day before. It was in his pocket. He had no-one specific to use it on, so decided to pepper his emails with it, fuel his hellos and goodbyes with it and generally just wear it in his eyes.
© Carl Burkitt 2018
Judith wrote everyone a Valentine’s card,
But was too lazy to post them.
So she just walked about the street
Throwing them into the breeze,
Dumping them into the river,
Shoving them into the mouths of strangers.
“It feels good to do something for others,”
she cackled.
© Carl Burkitt 2018
Sven really wanted
to jump
over
the wall
like a cat
but one of his
legs hurt
so he stayed
on the floor
and licked his
bumhole.
© Carl Burkitt 2018
Geoff ran out of ideas.
Panicking, he removed his head,
Scooped his stupid brain out with his fingers,
Popped a puppy in there,
And started all over again.
© Carl Burkitt 2018
Char the registrar went to the bar after the boring seminar to drink a couple of jars. Her eyes filled with stars as she drank far too much, enough to fill a car, and pulled out her guitar to sing about caviar and chocolate bars. She puffed on a cigar the size of a crowbar and trotted off home through the reservoir riding her loyal pet jaguar.
© Carl Burkitt 2018
Ross tried using his TV remote
to fast-forward his life.
It didn’t work.
If anything,
it just left him stuck on pause.
© Carl Burkitt 2018
