Bethlehamster

A door-to-door religious converter, the Bethlehamster gets shunned by all the other Christmas Creatures who claim they’ve got no room for him.

Homeless, hungry and all alone, this frustrating fella spends the second half of December staring at the stars wishing for gold. It never comes.

© Niklaus Von Stuffingball 1849

#ChristmasCreatures


(Illustration by Nicole Smeltzer)


(Illustration by Steve Whittingham)

Bonobohohoho

A relentlessly festive fiend, the Bonobohohoho never shuts its mouth. With a beard down to the ground and a withered red hat, this Christmas Creature bounds around ho ho hoing every minute of the day.

Being kissed on the cheeks by like-minded souls one minute and kicked up the arse by cynical sods the next, it’s safe to say the Bonobohohoho is real crowd splitter.

© Niklaus Von Stuffingball 1849

#ChristmasCreatures

bonobohohoho-steve
(Illustration by Steve Whittingham)


(Illustration by Nicole Smeltzer)


(Illustration by Daniel, 9)

Storking

This bugger-beaked buffoon is a right greedy git. It spends the whole of December flying round the world filling its guts with every tangerine, chestnut and piece of novelty stationery it can find.

Void of a permanent residence, this Christmas Creature will rest its bonce tied to the foot of the nearest terrified toddler’s bed.

© Niklaus Von Stuffingball 1849

#ChristmasCreatures


(Illustration by Darrell Swainston)


(Illustration by Nicole Smeltzer)

Mulled Swine

A roly-poly, currant-coloured, spicy-scented hog, the Mulled Swine is an absolute delight.

With its toasty looking mittens, knitted scarf and bobble hat, it’s the warmest of all Christmas Creatures. So warm, in fact, by the end of December it’s nothing but a pretty piggy puddle.

© Niklaus Von Stuffingball 1849

#ChristmasCreatures


(Illustration by Darrell Swainston)

8-mulled-swine-nicole-smeltzer
(Illustration by Nicole Smeltzer)

Tinseal

A sparkly streak of vanity, the Tinseal flaunts its festive flesh and candy cane whiskers on land for all to see.

The most narcissistic of all Christmas Creatures, it dodges H2O as much as possible due to looking pathetic when wet. As a water dweller this makes for a rather miserable, albeit stunning looking, beast.

© Niklaus Von Stuffingball 1849

#ChristmasCreatures

7-tinseal-nicole-smeltzer
(Illustration by Nicole Smeltzer)

Presentipede

50 legs. 50 presents. The presentipede spends the month of Crimbletide purchasing a whole host of fantastic gifts.

Once each limb is filled, it wanders passed the Christmas Creature orphanage and sets fire to the presents – laughing as it does so.

© Niklaus Von Stuffingball 1849

#ChristmasCreatures

6-presentipede-nicole-smeltzer
(Illustration by Nicole Smeltzer)

Wineoceros

A temperamental nightmare. This wobbly land beast possesses the power to knock seven shades of shit out of anything and the openness to reveal it misses you.

Wineoceroses are susceptible to prolonged headaches, red lips and caramel coloured urine. Outwardly the life and soul of the festive period, this Christmas Creature typically dies silently of regret.

© Niklaus Von Stuffingball 1849

#ChristmasCreatures

2-wineoceros-nicole-smeltzer
(Illustration by Nicole Smeltzer)

wineoceros-steve
(Illustration by Steve Whittingham)

Gifthorse

A generous little odd-toed ungulate. Effortlessly selfless, this gentle sweetheart is known to flog itself to death.

The gifthorse commonly dies alone as all other Christmas Creatures are instructed, from birth, to never look at it. Especially in the mouth.

Sadly, its mouth contains the cure for all known diseases.

© Niklaus Von Stuffingball 1849

#ChristmasCreatures

4-gifthorse-nicole-smeltzer
(Illustration by Nicole Smeltzer)

4-gifthorse-john-daglsh
(Illustration by John Daglish)
 

Chimpantree

One of the most beautiful sights on planet Earth. With its legs rooted in the ground, the Chimpantree makes gorgeous patterns in the sky with its stunningly long tinsel-arms.

The second it pops out of the ground in December, all of the other Christmas Creatures gather round to defecate under it. The Chimpantree loves it. Absolutely bloody loves it.

© Niklaus Von Stuffingball 1849

#ChristmasCreatures

3-chimpantree-kat-sadler
(Illustration by Kat Sadler)

3-chimpantree-caroline
(Illustration by Caroline Brown)


(Illustration by John Daglish)

3-chimpantree-nicole-smeltzer
(Illustration by Nicole Smeltzer)

Pineguin

A prickly-flippered fucker. Takes everything to heart. This Christmas Creature is born on the back-foot and is impossible to get into an intelligent conversation with.

Unable to hug, this flightless twat shows love through passive aggression and intimidatingly expensive presents.

© Niklaus Von Stuffingball 1849

#ChristmasCreatures

2-pineguin-nicole-smeltzer
(Illustration by Nicole Smeltzer)

2-pineguin-john-daglish
(Illustration by John Daglish)