Matthew Broderick
Put a tick next to everything
On his To Do List.
It was a one bullet long list
Consisting of ‘Do To Do List.’
“TICK!” he smiled.
“TICK TICK TICK.”

© Carl Burkitt 2020

Spike Lee
Hurt his knee
Filming a movie
In the squat position.
It was a strange idea
And completely
Messed up the composition,
Let alone his patella.
Silly fella.

© Carl Burkitt 2020

Glenn Close
Wasn’t one to boast
But she’d just received the most
Marvellous compliment about her toast.
“Perfectly edible,” it read.
“Perfect”, she smiled.

© Carl Burkitt 2020

Adam Levine
Fell in the latrine.
He climbed out
And wrote a
Bang average
Song about it.

© Carl Burkitt 2020

Kurt Russell
Fancied a tussle
But was alone at home
So popped to his room
For an under cover bustle.

© Carl Burkitt 2020

Flavor Flav
Went to dinner dinn
With his friends frien.
He had medium rare steak ste
With a side of curly fries fri.
It was a lovely evening eveni.

© Carl Burkitt 2020

Eva Longoria
Whispered “I’m bored of ya,”
Whenever she was in a meeting.
Just loud enough for the person talking to hear
But with her mouth completely shut
So they never knew who said it.
Her agent would giggle
And called her ‘Evantriloquist’.

© Carl Burkitt 2020

Jamie Bell ate a Babybel.
Pretty standard behaviour, right?
Wrong. It still had the wax on.

© Carl Burkitt 2020

William H. Macy
Made some really thick gravy,
Poured it over his body
And called himself
“Mister Bisto Baby.”

© Carl Burkitt 2020

Aaron Eckhart
Did a small fart.
It went completely unnoticed.
He was so proud.

© Carl Burkitt 2020