27/11/18 – Green

Posted on November 27, 2018 by carltellstales

Professor Green
Painted himself green
And bought some green trousers
And a green t-shirt
And a green hat
And a pair of green shoes
And began studying for his doctorate.

26/11/18 – Bedingfield

Posted on November 26, 2018 by carltellstales

Natasha Bedingfield
Put her bed in a field.
She slept under the stars
And let her dreams float to Mars.
Her subconscious wrote lyrics
To the beat her snores hit.
That night her sleep
Was truly like no other,
Even better than last week
When she snoozed with her brother.

25/11/18 – Applegate

Posted on November 25, 2018 by carltellstales

Christina Applegate
Was named as such
Because of a scandal
Involving a Granny Smith
And a man who was Dutch…

24/11/18 – Connolly

Posted on November 24, 2018 by carltellstales

Billy Connolly
Told a couple of jokes.
They were incredibly hilarious,
Cos, well, he was a funny bloke.
You know, it was his job.

23/11/18 – Cyrus

Posted on November 23, 2018 by carltellstales

Miley Cyrus
Contracted a virus
On her Apple Mac.
It was dreadful
And quite expensive to fix.

Glass half full

Posted on November 22, 2018 by carltellstales

I just met a glass half full kind of guy.
You know the type,
he’d miss his bus but wouldn’t mind
because ‘there’s another one’.
Or he’d rip his trousers but
it was all cool because he was
‘going to get new ones anyway.’
Or his girlfriend would cheat on him
and he would be fine because
‘we are all just pointless blobs of nothing hurtling towards our inevitable demise so who cares?’
You know the type.