DJ Jazzy Jeff’s
DJ decks were a mess,
He’d forgotten to lick his finger tips
After scoffing a large haddock and chips.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Emma Bunton
Crashed her car front on.
She was fine,
Because of the air bag,
Which made this particular crash
The comfiest crash she’d ever had.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Gary Barlow
Moved to Harlow
(For obvious reasons)

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Dolly Parton
Wore her heart on
Her sleeve.
She yelled: “I hate you Steve!”
Sometimes her heart
Wasn’t very nice.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

The cat of Kevin Costner
Was so dirty he washed her.
He washed her head and paws,
Not one, but all four,
Then her tail and her legs
And then back to her head
Because trust me,
The bonce on that kitty
Was absolutely filthy
And smelt borderline shitty.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Jim Carrey
Met the tooth fairy,
Who admired
His full set of gnashers.
At first he was scared
Then more compliments she shared
Leaving him well and truly flattered.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Kate Moss
Was at a loss,
She’d settled into bed
But had forgotten to floss.
Using her tongue
She found a popcorn kernel in her molars.
‘Perfect,’ she thought,
Licking the salt off
Before rolling over.

© Carl Burkitt 2019