Sean Combs, believe it or not,
Collected garden gnomes.
The cheap kind.
Do you know what I mean?
The dirt cheap kind that faded immediately
When the sun first kissed them.
The kind that cracked in winter frost.
The kind that had dead eyes.
Some believe Sean Combs
Collected cheap garden gnomes
Because he connected with
The deep-rooted melancholy they projected.
Others think it was because
He was tight-fisted Scrooge.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Dwight Yorke
Would often talk
To his fork.
He once thought it replied
After eating some dodgy pork.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Nelly turned his telly on.
He had his wellies on.
It was a difficult day.
I don’t know what to say.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Anthony Kiedis
Said: “I can’t read this”
So put it down,
Whatever it was.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Vanilla Ice
Made a nice, tiny snowman.
He wrapped it up in a blanket,
Tucked it in a pram
And went shopping.

“Ha,” a fellow shopper said.
“I see what you’ve done there!”

“Thanks,” Vanilla said, proudly.
“It’s my nice, tiny snowman…
Do do do do do do do do.”

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Henry Winkler
Didn’t have a sprinkler
So pulled out his mister
To tinkle on the garden
With an early morning hard-on.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Dan Castellaneta
Got fired from Domino’s
For dropping all the pizza
Dough!

© Carl Burkitt 2019