9/9/19 – Grant

Posted on September 9, 2019 by carltellstales

Hugh Grant
Did something
Awfully charming,
One would imagine.

DISINGENUOUS by The E Males

Posted on September 9, 2019 by carltellstales

1. I Was Just Messaging You!
2. Sorry For The Late Reply
3. I’ve Been So Swamped
4. Thanks For This
5. Love Your Ideas
6. I’ve Made Just A Couple Of Tweaks
7. Let Me Know What You Think
8. Take Your Time
9. No Rush
10. Look Forward To Hearing From You
11. Kind Regards
12. All The Best
13. Speak Soon

8/9/19 – Arquette

Posted on September 8, 2019 by carltellstales

David Arquette
Got a poisonous pet snake.
He let it sliver and quiver
Over the nape of this neck
Against all the advice
From his terrified vet.

7/9/19 – Elizabeth

Posted on September 7, 2019 by carltellstales

Shannon Elizabeth,
The actor who played Nadia
In the American Pie franchise,
Preferred a flan.

6/9/19 – Henman

Posted on September 6, 2019 by carltellstales

Tim Henman
Would whisper
“Come on Tim”
To help himself
Get to sleep
At night.

Orange

Posted on September 5, 2019 by carltellstales

I often feel like I’m an orange bell pepper.
Not as sweet as a yellow one,
not as bitter as a green one,
not as nutritious as a red one.
If you Google
what are orange peppers,
the first suggestion is
what are orange peppers good for?

Alter Egos

Posted on September 5, 2019 by carltellstales

I was truly honoured to have two poems included in the Alter Egos anthology by the wonderful Bad Betty Press.

Hero, nemesis, spy or host? What exactly is an alter ego? With poems from the likes of Toby Campion, The Repeat Beat Poet, Birdsong, Laurie Eaves and many more, this book tries to find the answers.

Buy your self a copy directly from Bad Betty: www.badbettypress.com/shop

5/9/19 – Herzog

Posted on September 5, 2019 by carltellstales

Werner Herzog
Made a film about a warthog.
It was ambitious, affecting,
Tear-jerking, illuminating,
And groundbreaking.
A film about a warthog!
Clever, clever Werner.

4/9/19 – Ronson

Posted on September 4, 2019 by carltellstales

Mark Ronson
Turned the radio on
And heard one of his songs.
It was one of the big ones.
The real big ones.
He smiled thinking back to the time of making it,
The friendships he formed,
The elation of connecting with audiences,
The magic of being a conduit for ideas
Transmitted from the universe
And then rolled over and had a wank.

3/9/19 – Cotton

Posted on September 3, 2019 by carltellstales

Fearne Cotton
Felt rotten
So sat on her bottom
For the rest of her life.