Thomas knocked Phoebe’s bread roll off the table,
unbeknownst to the pair.

© Carl Burkitt 2014

The Queen picked up the phone.
It was a wrong number.

© Carl Burkitt 2014

The Three Little Pigs
found out from a friend
that the Big Bad Wolf was scared of heights.
So, after several long discussions,
the trio sold their houses
and pulled together a deposit
for a high-rise apartment in London.
The view was bloody lovely.

© Carl Burkitt 2014

Peter was fed up with walking to work,
so yesterday he decided to take the bus.
As soon as the bus crashed and he died,
his ghost blushed its way up to heaven.

© Carl Burkitt 2014

The taxidermist died.
His family mourned
and gave him a pretty standard funeral, really.

© Carl Burkitt 2014

The twenty nine foot bloke
ordered an organic sandwich.
When it arrived it was far too small,
so he trashed the funky cafe
and swallowed six hipsters.

© Carl Burkitt 2014

His hands were great.
They could build,
they could break,
they could take
my pain away.

They could dig,
they could bruise,
they could sooth
my soul today.

He hand the hands of a fighter
but his touch was much lighter;
as he held me,
and stroked me,
and choked my
problems away.

They day his hands left
I’ll always regret;
as my actions put gloves
on his love.
I can’t reach them,
I can’t kiss them,
my body can do nothing
but miss them.

© Carl Burkitt 2014

Sean bagged himself a trophy wife.
He booked an open top bus to parade around town
and lifted her above his head
by her massive ears.

© Carl Burkitt 2014

Monty died for the tenth time.
He thanked the Gods for his survival
and began pondering what other lies
the human race had spread about his kind.

© Carl Burkitt 2014

The man fell in love with the woman.
The woman didn’t fall in love with the man.
The man changed every single, possible thing about himself.
The woman fell in love with the man.
The man felt smothered and fucked a prostitute.

© Carl Burkitt 2014