Just pour it all over me.
Let your poison see me off.
Don’t dilute it.
I want to choke on your generous squash.

© Carl Burkitt 2017

The crowd picked up Ricky.
They dropped him
And dropped him
And dropped him.
He’d never been so happy.

© Carl Burkitt 2017

Ed Balls made himself a cake to celebrate Ed Balls Day.

The year was 3029 and he was the only human left alive. He was very sad, but couldn’t help but smile at the rise of his sponge.

‘848th time a charm!’ he cried.

© Carl Burkitt 2017

Golly gosh
my dear Avon lady ran off
with the cobbler.
It seems he makes cassettes for her
and lets her win at croquet.
Blimey.
At least that leaves the crossword for me
when I forget to collect Martha from Playschool.

© Carl Burkitt 2017

Tony bought a scratch card.
He scratched it up real hard.
£20,000.
Wow.
It didn’t bring his mum back, though.
Or even afford the car he desperately wanted.

© Carl Burkitt 2017

I’m sorry, Justin Timberlake, but you are not cool. You always look awkward. I wouldn’t usually say such a horrible thing about someone, but you just don’t look comfortable. It’s like you’re wearing someone else’s skin and every hip shake is a failed attempt to break free. Your eyes look dead. And I bet you have a fuller smile somewhere. I’m sorry. You are handsome. In a, sort of, I’m told to think you’re handsome kind of way. I’d kiss you, but I don’t think you’d like it. And neither would I. But I’d definitely kiss you. That’s the kind of world we live in now. Isn’t it?

© Carl Burkitt 2017

The man got a tattoo.
He kissed it and touched it
And did things that people would talk about.
The tattoo never said a word.

© Carl Burkitt 2017

Every time he opened a door
Ryan would brace himself.
He never quite knew what for
but he imagined it’d be violent.
Or sexy.

© Carl Burkitt 2017

One day I will tell you absolutely everything.
You won’t understand most of it.
You’ll challenge me on some of it.
You’ll cry at the bits I stumble over.
You’ll smile at the bits I don’t understand.
One day I will tell you absolutely everything
And no longer be afraid.

© Carl Burkitt 2017

Jimmy really enjoyed looking in the mirror.
He’d never seen anything he truly loved in there
but was confident he would one day. 

© Carl Burkitt 2017