I like to think about George Clooney with a stone in his shoe

I can hear his knees cracking as he bends
down and struggles to untie his shoelaces.
When his foot is free I can see
his little toe poking out of a worn down sock
that is accidentally inside out.
The stone tumbles on to the narrow path
from his upturned trainer and he wags a finger
inside to check there are no other stones
before sliding it back on. He messes up
retying his laces then needs to lean
one hand on the wooden bench opposite him
to help stand upright. He does one of those
dry coughs and pats the dust off
his tracksuit bottoms. He has no idea
how to get back home from here
but he’s up for a walk.

© Carl Burkitt 2021

I am one of the top currency trader coaches in the world today

My face was on the front cover
of Forbes magazine last month.
I’m very good at what I do. Very good.
So good I’ve got a free event just for you.
Isn’t this wonderful? My little polished teeth
popping up on your computer screen,
unsolicitedly, so I can tell you
all about my free event while you sit there
wondering if anyone has ever felt as tired
as you feel right now. Come to my event. It’s free.
Don’t worry about why my arm is in this sling.
I just want you to forget why you are alive
and to stop worrying if you make
any kind of difference to anyone or anything.
I just want to teach you about currency trading.
Come to my event. It’s free.

© Carl Burkitt 2021

Question

Written using the examples given
in the dictionary definition of ‘question’

It was not simply a question of
age and hierarchy, members had
questioned the cost of the scheme.
There’s no question that the company’s
true financial situation is different.
The question of local government
funding worried ministers.
Edward was the only one
she obeyed without question.
We hope this leaflet has been helpful
in answering your questions.

© Carl Burkitt 2021

The room

The walls were thick
with paint over wallpaper
and the odd chip of brick
from curious fingernails.
People couldn’t breathe
through the heavy
thought of air.
Kneecaps were attached
but bent in half
and the space between
the hairs on my arms
didn’t matter anymore.

© Carl Burkitt 2021

Watching Zac Efron eat a carb

A lady from Italy
has just made pasta
using flour and fingers
that are approximately
2,000 years old.
A man drinks red wine
all day until he is a boy
looking for a place to rest.
There are trees
grateful to still be standing.
Somewhere on another planet
the Hollywood sign is melting.

© Carl Burkitt 2021

Today I saw

Spray painted sheep. A JCB on top of the world.
Neatly wrapped sandwiches. Helpful bananas.
Old, borrowed, and brand new walking boots.
Wet weather gear. Sun hats. Woolly gloves.
Dogs in the sky. Ghosts on a train track.
Open eyes. The inside of clouds.
Nothing but air and bones and Why not.

© Carl Burkitt 2021

Have you ever done a fart you’ve not laughed at?

Or seen someone fall
and not texted a mate
or scratched one leg
and not scratched the other leg
or found a penny and not picked it up
or eaten a share bag of Doritos
and not looked in the mirror
and wondered what life would be like
if you didn’t eat that share bag of Doritos
or passed the penny to a friend
and not had your good luck never end?

© Carl Burkitt 2021