Mario Lopez
Changed his name to
Lario Mopez.
No-one really noticed.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Chris O’Dowd
Was oh so proud
He could hear himself
Over the loud crowd.
‘Cos, well… it was loud.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Bruno Mars
Sold his cars
And decided to always get the bus.
Luckily he had “one of those faces”,
So was never noticed
And experienced no selfie fuss.
(Until he started singing, of course,
Which he did on every route,
Because, well, needs must.)

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Simon Cowell
Couldn’t find his towel
So pulled his trousers up,
As high as he could,
To dry his tummy with them.
And that’s where his whole
High waisted trouser thing came from.
Yep.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Jeremy Sisto
Opened a bistro.
He called it:
“Sisto’s Bisto.”
He thought dropping the R was clever.
But in fact it just made the gravy company
Sue him for all he was worth.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Kate Winslet
Bought a singlet
And trained to be a professional wrestler.
She called herself The Iceberg,
Turned out be hard as nails
And soon became champion of the world.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Alicia Silverstone
Hurt her tail bone.
The pain made her laugh so much
She called it her funny bone.
Then she hurt her humerus bone
And the pain was so fucking bad
She couldn’t stop crying.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Gwen Stefani learnt origami.
She created herself a paper bed
And folded herself up to rest her head.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Sting joined the actual police.
He was assigned a desk job
And unexpectedly flourished in the role.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Theresa May
Dreamt she was Prime Minister for the day.
She woke up screaming.

© Carl Burkitt 2018