HUMANS

All of the humans died.
But because all of them died,
there was no one around to be sad.
Which was nice.

LIE IN

Jilly woke up approximately
24 hours late for her Friday morning meeting,
which meant…
It was SATURDAAAAAAAAAAY!

She was, of course,
called up and fired,
which meant…
A lie in on MONDAAAAAAAAY!

COUPLES FURAPY

A kitten was born
that could speak English.
It was amazing!

It went door-to-door reassuring cat owners
that independence is a search
for freedom from control,
not freedom from love.

CADBURY WORLD

Cadbury invented healthy chocolate
that tasted exactly like chocolate and
made you skinnier and prettier.
But people didn’t bow to the pressure
to be “perfect” and bought more
happy fat bars.
YEAH!

HAPPY

After nine hundred and thirty million
Five hundred and thirty four thousand
Five hundred and sixty two listens,
Pharrell Williams was still pretty happy.

© Carl Burkitt 2017

Brief by Tanne Spielman: “Something happy. We could all do with that.”

This piece was written as a part of a fundraising project for Rethink Mental Illness, where I’m inviting people to set me any writing brief in exchange for donations.

Read all of the details here and if you’d like to get involved, email ca.burkitt@gmail.com or Tweet @CarlBurkitt!