Tommy Hilfiger
Forgot he was a human
And not an item of clothing.
Two weeks later
He was making a sandwich
In his kitchen and blushed
Thinking about what he’d said
During that meeting icebreaker.
© Carl Burkitt 2020
Marti Pellow had a shower.
When he got out, a pipe burst
And flooded the bathroom.
He ran to the kitchen for a glass of water
To calm down, but spilt it down him.
He was absolutely soaking.
© Carl Burkitt 2020
Reese Witherspoon
Ate her soup with a fork.
She did it with her cereal, too.
© Carl Burkitt 2020
Matthew Broderick
Put a tick next to everything
On his To Do List.
It was a one bullet long list
Consisting of ‘Do To Do List.’
“TICK!” he smiled.
“TICK TICK TICK.”
© Carl Burkitt 2020
Spike Lee
Hurt his knee
Filming a movie
In the squat position.
It was a strange idea
And completely
Messed up the composition,
Let alone his patella.
Silly fella.
© Carl Burkitt 2020
Glenn Close
Wasn’t one to boast
But she’d just received the most
Marvellous compliment about her toast.
“Perfectly edible,” it read.
“Perfect”, she smiled.
© Carl Burkitt 2020
Adam Levine
Fell in the latrine.
He climbed out
And wrote a
Bang average
Song about it.
© Carl Burkitt 2020
