Rob Zombie
Went into an Abercrombie & Fitch.
He didn’t have a good time.
© Carl Burkitt 2020
12/1/20 – Zombie
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Category Archives: Celebrity Birthdays
11/1/20 – Riley
Rachel Riley
Swapped the vowels
In her name for consonants.
It took Nick Hewer a few weeks
To get used to saying “Rtchfl Rglfy”
But he did it because
He was a bloody professional.
© Carl Burkitt 2020
10/1/20 – Stewart
Rod Stewart
Knew what he had to do
But didn’t do it.
“I’m 75, you shits!”
He’d shout in the street.
© Carl Burkitt 2020
9/1/20 – Paul
“Sean Paul, Dawn called.”
My God, Sean Paul loved his PA,
He never missed a message.
© Carl Burkitt 2020
8/1/20 – Nolte
Nick Nolte
Loved a balti.
For breakfast.
Yuck.
How revolti.
© Carl Burkitt 2020
7/1/20 – Renner
You know when you find a fiver
By surprise in your pocket
And it absolutely makes your day?
Well, Jeremy Renner
Only found a bloody tenner
In the exact same chuffing way!
© Carl Burkitt 2020
6/1/20 – Turner
Alex Turner
Sat down to write
A new album.
It was taking AGES
So he just sat
And combed his hair.
© Carl Burkitt 2020
