1. Where You Bean All my Life?
2. Tall Order
3. Red Bush Blush
4. Love You, Dar(jee)ling
5. What’s Up With Brew?
6. Grande Ambitions
7. Sorry I’m Latte
8. Cappuchinos and Smart Shoes
9. Feeling Saucer
10. Nothing Like A Lie In With My Girl, Grey
11. Venti One’s Opinion
12. Espresso-so
13. Leaf it Out
© Carl Burkitt 2019
“So,” said the doctor.
“Tell me again why you have
Hot boiled egg yolk all over your face and head.”
“Remember I told ya, I’m a soldier,”
Laughed Lisa Maffia.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Ice Cube
Found a pube
In a cube of ice.
He let it melt
Then pulled it out
And chewed it up real nice.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Steffi Graf
Bought a giraffe
And called it ace.
Because it was.
Proper ace.
(Shit at tennis though)
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Kick Ass Star Aaron Taylor-Johnson
Decided to put a hyphen
Between Aaron and Taylor to become
Aaron-Taylor-Johnson
Just for fun.
But soon it got out of hand
And he demanded to be known as
Kick-Ass-Star-Aaron-Taylor-Johnson
And he got a reputation for being
Just not so fun.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Dave Franco
Shaved off his eyebrows
And replaced them with two slugs.
It was essentially pointless
Because he looked just the same
But that was his aim,
He was playing the long game.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Hugh Laurie
Hired a huge lorry.
He filled it with poo
And wasn’t even sorry.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
