Pop sensation Britney Spears
Fulfilled a dream she had for years
And became a professional boxer.
Quite a surprise, right?
But the real surprise
Was that no opponent ever yelled
“Hit me baby one more time,” at her.
© Carl Burkitt 2018
Sarah Silverman
Texted celebrity chef Duff Goldman:
“First the worst second the best.”
She then Googled ‘people called Bronzeman’
To slag off their hairy chest.
© Carl Burkitt 2018
Ben Stiller
Sat down for dinner.
Imagine that.
Ben Stiller,
The movie star,
Just sat down eating dinner
Of an evening.
I wonder what he eats.
Could be anything,
I guess.
© Carl Burkitt 2018
Don Cheadle
Saw a weasel
Sitting in his street.
He loved its face,
So grabbed an easel and paints
And created a weasel masterpiece.
© Carl Burkitt 2018
Jon Stewart
Was covered in dirt.
He’d fallen over
And muddied his shirt.
And trousers
And shoes
And socks
And pants.
That was the real weird part.
How did the dirt get in his pants?
© Carl Burkitt 2018
Professor Green
Painted himself green
And bought some green trousers
And a green t-shirt
And a green hat
And a pair of green shoes
And began studying for his doctorate.
© Carl Burkitt 2018
Natasha Bedingfield
Put her bed in a field.
She slept under the stars
And let her dreams float to Mars.
Her subconscious wrote lyrics
To the beat her snores hit.
That night her sleep
Was truly like no other,
Even better than last week
When she snoozed with her brother.
© Carl Burkitt 2018
