Date night was over.
Geraldine lay on on her back, satisfied,
as Grant licked his lips
and flicked the lamp off with his tongue.
© Carl Burkitt 2014
18 inches
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Author Archives: carltellstales
The only solution
The following takes place in a world where no-one has ever had cramp.
Caroline woke up to a crushing case of calf cramp.
She swore to the gods,
chopped off her legs
and slowly bled to death;
Smiling her little head off.
© Carl Burkitt 2014
Bath time
Deborah’s testing elbow dissolved.
Barry called for an ambulance
As Daisy hid her beloved sulphuric acid.
© Carl Burkitt 2014
Old Bill
Bill had sex with a man,
whose name was Pete,
or Dave, or Stan.
Bill was a slut.
© Carl Burkitt 2014
Bitch be trippin’
Lassie fell over.
© Carl Burkitt 2014
Inevitable
When Doris died,
Ernie’s demise was inevitable.
Turtles gotta eat,
y’all.
© Carl Burkitt 2014
Year 5
Matthew kissed every girl and
scoffed a gorgeous chocolate Twirl
© Carl Burkitt 2014
Mistake
Simba’s wife shagged
Tony the Tiger,
The next thing you know
she had a grrrreat big liger.
© Carl Burkitt 2014
Silly sausages
Sausages fry,
Sausages fizz,
Human sausages
taste like whizz.
© Carl Burkitt 2014
Probably for the best
Mum,
I’ve been thinking and it’s probably best for everyone if we just remain friends.
Tyler
x
© Carl Burkitt 2014
Carl tells tales 