7/3/19 – Cranston

Posted on March 7, 2019 by carltellstales

Bryan Cranston
Only ate pickle by Branston,
Rode trains by Branson,
Sang national anthems
And forked over a ransom
For victims who were handsome.

Game

Posted on March 7, 2019 by carltellstales

6/3/19 – O’Neal

Posted on March 6, 2019 by carltellstales

Shaquille O’Neal
Heard a pig’s squeal
Coming from his lounge.
It was a loud and violent
And disturbing sound
So he just remained under his covers
And tried to get his head down.

5/3/19 – Mendes

Posted on March 5, 2019 by carltellstales

Eva Mendes
Felt pretty splendid.
Her day was delightful
Right up until it ended.

4/3/19 – Beckham

Posted on March 4, 2019 by carltellstales

When his Mum called his Dad “Golden Balls”
He was 8 years old.
When his Dad had a skinhead
He was 0 years old.
When his Dad tripped up Diego Simeone
He was -2 years old.
When all his mum wanted was a zigazig ah
He was -4 years old.
When he woke up this morning
Brooklyn Beckham was 19 years old.

CONDIMENTS & “COMPLIMENTS” by The Inappropriately Overfamiliar Customers

Posted on March 4, 2019 by carltellstales

1. Ketchup Please, Cutie
2. Brown Sauce Please, Babes
3. Mayo Please, Marvellous
4. Tartar Please, Treacle
5. Mustard Please, M’Lovely
6. Hot Sauce Please, Handsome
7. BBQ Please, Buddy
8. Teriyaki Please, T’rific
9. Wasabi Please, Wonderful
10. Hoisin Please, Honey
11. Honey Please, Hoisin
12. Aioli Please, Awesome
13. Chutney Please, Charming