Seth Rogan
Called his local curry house
To order a Rogan Josh
But when they asked for his order
He said “Rogan Seth”
And when they asked for his name
He said “Josh Rogan”.
It was really, really funny.
Hahaha.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
”That sucks,” said the lollipop, explaining human mouths to his mates.
And it was writing like that why Steve was dropped by his publishers.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
This poem is part of a challenge for National Poetry Writing Month 2019 – a poem a day celebrating an interesting US national day.
1. Suds You Like
2. Wet Wet Wet Wet Wet Wet Wet Wet
3. Shampooface
4. Loofah Bread
5. Golden Shower
6. Platinum Shower
7. Cream On My Face
8. Cruising For a Soothing
9. Water Off a Mucky Pup’s Back
10. Tricky Conditioners
11. Nooks and Crannies
12. Dirty Bastard
13. To Shower Cap It All Off
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Robert Carlyle
Kept a file
On every mushroom he ate.
It was currently at zero –
He just didn’t trust the look of them.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Sandra looked up at the sky and saw a cloud that looked like her. It was fluffy, grey and full of dread.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
This poem is part of a challenge for National Poetry Writing Month 2019 – a poem a day celebrating an interesting US national day.
Al Green
Needed a new washing machine.
So he got one.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Sarah played herself at Scrabble. She couldn’t stop cheating and spent the whole night in tears.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
This poem is part of a challenge for National Poetry Writing Month 2019 – a poem a day celebrating an interesting US national day.
Claire Danes
When to Spain
On a chocolate airplane.
It didn’t work,
Obviously,
And I’d rather not type what happened next.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Tracey decided to teach her son all about saving money. It was going really well until he revealed, in his mere 9 years on Earth, he’d saved £3,450 under his racing car shaped bed. Tracey did the maths in her head and realised that was approximately £3,450 more than she’d ever saved in her life, so she reported him to the police accusing him of robbery – the cocky little bastard.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
This poem is part of a challenge for National Poetry Writing Month 2019 – a poem a day celebrating an interesting US national day.
Joss Stone
Found a bone.
It was long, thin
And unrecognisable.
2,000 scientists investigated it
And after four years they concluded
It was an old gazebo pole.
She properly laughed at the findings.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Carl tells tales 