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Author Archives: carltellstales
22/5/19 – Morrissey
Morrissey
Tried to giggle
Hehe
But passed out
And died.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
21/5/19 – Daley
Tom Daley
Made some gravy
And suddenly began to drool.
So he slipped on his trunks,
Smoothed out the last chunks
And dived in to the brown meaty pool.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
20/5/19 – Theroux
Louis Theroux,
During an interview,
Threw up on a sofa throw
Due to 47 hours of awkward silence
Since he’d asked his last question.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
UNDER THE COVERS by Snooze Dogg
1. Sleepin Ain’t Easy
2. Fuck Tha Pillows
3. Nuthin’ but a Zzz Thang
4. Snooze Yourself
5. Night Night Baby
6. The Real Slim Sleepy
7. Ninety Night Problems
8. Mama Said Conk You Out
9. Rappers’ Denight
10. It Was a Good Night
11. Wake This Way
12. Bring the Snores
13. Get Ur Sleep On
© Carl Burkitt 2019
19/5/19 – Pirlo
Andrea Pirlo
Got a job at a dating agency.
He just missed setting people up.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
18/5/19 – Johnson
Jack Johnson
Wrote another
Surfer love-song
Filled with As and Es
A D and a few Cs.
It was gross,
In the year 2019.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
17/5/19 – Corr
Andrea Corr
Opened the door
To see the other three Corrs.
“Come in!” they sang
Before the amps went BANG
And they fell right through floor.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
16/5/19 – Brosnan
Pierce Brosnan
Would often spell his name
Pierce Br007nan,
Just to break the tension.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Sandpaper
Carl tells tales 