David Attenborough
Ate a giant Battenberg
All on his own
And narrated
Every
God
Damn
Mouthful.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
8/5/19 – Attenborough
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Author Archives: carltellstales
7/5/19 – Lords
Traci Lords
Was bored.
Very, very bored.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
6/5/19 – Blair
Tony Blair
Shaved his hair
With a chocolate eclair.
No-one cared.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
3 DAY WEEKEND by The Lie Ins
1. Snooze Town, Population: Me!
2. I’ll Eat What I Want
3. I’ll Drink What I Want
4. I’ll Wear What I Want
5. I’ll Wash When I Want
6. I’ll Watch What I Want
7. LEAVE ME ALONE
8. What Day Even IS it?
9. I Can’t Even Remember What Emails ARE!
10. 6pm Brunch!
11. What Time Do The Banks Close Today?
12. Oh Yeah!
13. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!
© Carl Burkitt 2019
5/5/19 – Palin
Michael Palin
Heard some wailing
So looked out
The front window of his house.
He couldn’t believe what he saw
And a picture for you I can’t draw
But let’s just say it looked like
A 45 foot, 12-headed mouse.
Yep.
Terrifying.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
4/5/19 – McIlroy
Rory McIlroy
Drank a bottle of soy sauce.
It was hard to finish,
And horribly salty,
But it was incredibly good for you
According to a little birdy.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Eighth Grade
A reminder that
Thirteen is bloody brutal.
Tough age. Gorgeous film.
#HaikuReview | Carl Burkitt
3/5/19 – Toksvig
Sandi Toksvig
Enjoyed a good fig.
So much so
She wore one for as wig
For her most important gig.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Smelly by John Hegley
Image
Avengers: Endgame
Bing! Bang! Bosh! Bash! Pang!
Ping! Pow! Bosh! Wallop! Wallop!
Bash! Wallop! WALLOP!
#HaikuReview | Carl Burkitt
Carl tells tales 