Mel B painted yellow and black stripes on her t-shirt
And changed her name to Mel Buzz.

“Why Mel Buzz?” friends would ask.

“Because of my bumble bee stripes,” she’d say.

“Yeah, but you were called Mel B…”

“Yes, I was, but I’m now Mel BUZZ
Because of my bumble bee stripes.”

“Right, but you were Mel B, like, bee…”

Eventually Mel Buzz ditched her idiot mates
And lived happily on her own.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Carey Mulligan
Was afforded a mulligan
After puking on the tee
Due to scoffing a dodgy mulligan.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

After eating 3000 bottles
Of Thousand Island dressing,
André 3000
Did not feel so fresh
And was certainly not clean.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Lenny Kravitz
Bought cravats
For his wrists.
Utterly pointless.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Mike Myers
Bought a power drill.
He called it “Austin”.
Haha.
God he was alone.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Eric Cantona
Ate a giant, gloopy bogey.
Of course he did.
More than once probably.
Come on, don’t be naive.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

Drew Carey
Loved saying
‘Whose line is it anyway?’
To an empty room.
‘Me? AGAIN?!’ he’d laugh
And swivel in his swivel chair for hours.

© Carl Burkitt 2019