Author Archives: carltellstales
23/1/20 – Thiessen
Tiffani Thiessen
Was fed up being called
Kelly From Saved By The Bell
By strangers in the street.
She found it rude, impersonal,
And a little degrading.
Every time she’d grab their shoulders,
Glare into their eyes and scream,
It’s Kelly KAPOWSKI From Saved By The Bell!
© Carl Burkitt 2020
Feet
I have many feet for many different occasions.
My everyday Dunlop trainers are size 10.5.
My soon-to-retire football boots are 11.5.
The brown, pointy shoes with ready-for-this laces
I wore at my wedding are 11.
My 33rd birthday slippers are 12, like Dad’s.
I have many faces for many different occasions,
like Dad.
© Carl Burkitt 2020
22/1/20 – Garcia
Actor Ricky Garcia
Grew a third ear.
He loved how clear
It helped him hear.
In truth, work slowed down
Just a little that year.
© Carl Burkitt 2020
People
There are three people sat on the train seats
opposite me. They’re all wearing hats.
One’s red, one’s orange, one’s green.
Their hats, I mean. I wish I could tell you
the colours matched the expression
their faces have. But they aren’t. The person
in the red hat looks incredibly open,
the person in the green hat looks
rather indifferent and the person in the
orange had looks closed off. When I’m smiling
through the room at a house party
discussing the weather and asking
how work is I’m often looking
for the nearest clock.
© Carl Burkitt 2020
21/1/20 – Ocean
Billy Ocean
Went for a swim in the sea.
He liked melting into water,
Sea salt dancing across his skin,
Peering down at the spines of fish
And dreaming of a simpler time.
Plus, after a day of sunbathing,
It was an easy way
To get sand out your bum bum.
© Carl Burkitt 2020
Last post
My wallet has all sorts in it.
A receipt for a tube of Pringles,
a train ticket that died at Gatwick,
a business card from an escape room,
a Kolo Toure football sticker, 85p in silver,
a Post-It with ‘Charing Cross’ scribbled on it
and two first class stamps
I wish I could send to you.
© Carl Burkitt 2020
WRITER’S BLOCK by The Stifled
1. Writer’s Block
2. Slighter Flock
3. Tighter Lock
4. Triter Hock
5. Fighter’s Sock
6. Whiter Frock
7. Biter Jock
8. Brighter Dock
9. Lighter Cock
10. Light On, Knock
11. Brighton Rock
12. Enlightened Doc
13. En Bleurgh Blah Plock
© Carl Burkitt 2020
20/1/20 – Wilson
Rainn Wilson
Found it funn to put
An extra n in some words
Annd not others.
Not all the time,
Only whenn
He was feeling cheeky
Or boredn.
© Carl Burkitt 2020
Delicious
I thought you wanted a delicious morning treat
and you got a fucking banana?!
The words slipped off her tongue as easily
as the natural yellow wrapper would from
her boyfriend’s unexpectedly controversial snack.
His eyes told me that comment
was just the first one of his five a day.
© Carl Burkitt 2020