Rupert Grint had a glint in his eye.
He LOVED practical jokes
And little white lies,
So as he hid behind the sofa,
Having told his mum he was out,
He smiled at the prospect of jumping out with a shout.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Kobe Bryant
Bought a Reliant Robin.

He tried to get in it,
But didn’t fit in it.

Obviously.

He’s fucking massive.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Kristen Wiig watched Big,
The film with Tom Hanks.
She love it so much.
Not because she thought it was a great film,
It was alright,
She just loved the front cover of the DVD.
A few years earlier, drunk,
She used a Sharpie to turn ‘Big’ to ‘Biig’.
She pissed herself every time she saw it.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Hayden Panettiere
Combed her hair
With a chocolate eclair.

It looked an absolute state,
But it was just a bit of a laugh,
To be fair.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Andrew Garfield pretended he was born in 1978.
He told people his favourite food was lasagne.
He bought a teddy bear and called it Pooky.
He said lots of sarcastic things.
He cleaned his head by licking his hands and rubbing them on his head.
You know, like a cat.
He was pretending to be the cat Garfield because his surname was Garfield.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Matthew Perry
Was very, very,
Very, very,
Very, very cold.
He wasn’t hot,
He wasn’t warm,
He was very, very,
Very, very cold.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Ed Norton
Found some warts on
His nose. And his fingers
And his ears and his toes.
He saw some on his cheeks,
His knees and also his chin,
And then he realised
He wasn’t seeing warts,
He was seeing his skin.

© Carl Burkitt 2018