Cornwall. 15th June 2014. 19.40pm – 20 minutes before kick off.

Hazel, 94, walks into the living room to find Barbara, 96, sat on the sofa fixated on the build up for the France vs Honduras game.

HAZEL: Wow, you’re ready early.

BARBARA: Oh Hazel, I just absolutely adore France.

HAZEL: Really?

BARBARA: Oh yes. It’s just such a beautiful and wonderful place. The vineyards, the architecture, the sightseeing. Brioche, baguettes, croque-Monsieur, croque-Madame, Bordeaux Sauvignon Blanc, Saint-Véran. Just magical.

HAZEL: Wow, I never knew you loved it.

BARBARA: I do. Plus, they gave me my favourite ever World Cup moment.

HAZEL: Which was?

Barbara stands up to meet Hazel, looks her deep in the eyes and sends her crashing to the ground with an almighty headbutt to the chest.

BARBARA: Au revoir.

© Carl Burkitt 2014