I bought a balloon and filled it with helium.
I got a piece of string and tied one end to the balloon and the other to my cactus.
I started masturbating to it.
When my mum stumbled into my room, I managed to put my penis away in time but she was confused about the balloon tied to the cactus.
I told her that my cactus had always wanted to ride a hot air balloon but couldn’t because it was a cactus and might burst the balloon, so I thought I would tie a helium balloon to it so it could briefly live its dream.
She believed me.
Weirdo.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

642 Challenge: “A talking cactus tells you his one dream is to ride in a hot air balloon; but he can’t move from the ground, and he is afraid he will pop the balloon. How do you help him make his dream come true?”

I filled my pockets with kittens. Shorts, trousers, jackets, coats, bags, the lot. I put them in every pocket I own because in case I needed a kitten there would always be one available for me. Because I filled all of my pockets with kittens.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

642 Challenge: “You find a bunch of kittens in a box on the side of the road. They can’t find their mother. What do you do with the kittens?”

I can see in the dark.
Every night I walk around when everyone else is still.
I see the things they choose to ignore as they snore.
I can see in the dark.
I don’t like everything I see, but it’s just for me.
So I walk around in the dark as much as I can.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

642 Challenge: “You can see in the dark.”

On a warm summer evening
I went out to play in my backyard,
when suddenly I realised
something magical was happening.
All the plants and animals were fucking.
I think.
I’d been drinking.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

642 Challenge: “On a warm summer evening I went out to play in my backyard, when suddenly I realised something magical was happening. All the plants and animals were…”