Matthew Perry
Was very, very,
Very, very,
Very, very cold.
He wasn’t hot,
He wasn’t warm,
He was very, very,
Very, very cold.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Ed Norton
Found some warts on
His nose. And his fingers
And his ears and his toes.
He saw some on his cheeks,
His knees and also his chin,
And then he realised
He wasn’t seeing warts,
He was seeing his skin.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Robert De Niro
Ate a mint chocolate Aero
While looking in his mirror.

He screamed:
“You talking to me?!”
Then ate another two –
And then three –
And didn’t care if his reflection judged him.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Steve Carrell
Rang the bell
One Sunday for his church.

The rope fell off
Then he puked up his guts
Before things only got worse.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Jennifer Lawrence didn’t pay rent
And spent the money on fun things.

At first she bought puppies
And then she bought kittens,

Then she bought sweeties
And then she bought mittens.

Jennifer Lawrence didn’t pay rent
And slept in the park with all her fun things.

© Carl Burkitt 2018