Ralph Lauren
Climbed inside a rabbit warren
And ate a carrot for dinner.
He felt warm and safe
And like one of life’s winners.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Sacha Baron Cohen
Got a boat for rowing,
Some thread for sewing,
A trailer for towing,
Some seeds for growing
And had a very interesting weekend.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Hugh Jackman
Met up with
Kenny Blackman
(I guy I went to school with)
And had a lovely evening
(Obviously, Kenny’s great!)

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Joan Cusack
Loved her spice rack.
It had turmeric and paprika,
Cumin and garam masala.
It had cinnamon, pepper,
Both chilli and curry powder.
It had every single kind of spice,
It was truly special and truly nice.
But it was the rack itself
Joan Cusack loved the most.
It was dark and rich and made of oak.
And in truth, she was more of a herb gal.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Mario Lopez
Changed his name to
Lario Mopez.
No-one really noticed.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Chris O’Dowd
Was oh so proud
He could hear himself
Over the loud crowd.
‘Cos, well… it was loud.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Bruno Mars
Sold his cars
And decided to always get the bus.
Luckily he had “one of those faces”,
So was never noticed
And experienced no selfie fuss.
(Until he started singing, of course,
Which he did on every route,
Because, well, needs must.)

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Simon Cowell
Couldn’t find his towel
So pulled his trousers up,
As high as he could,
To dry his tummy with them.
And that’s where his whole
High waisted trouser thing came from.
Yep.

© Carl Burkitt 2018

Jeremy Sisto
Opened a bistro.
He called it:
“Sisto’s Bisto.”
He thought dropping the R was clever.
But in fact it just made the gravy company
Sue him for all he was worth.

© Carl Burkitt 2018