Joss Stone
Found a bone.
It was long, thin
And unrecognisable.
2,000 scientists investigated it
And after four years they concluded
It was an old gazebo pole.
She properly laughed at the findings.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Barry ordered a barbershop quartet. He spent at least 45 hours working on their lines, sweating over every single word, but was eventually happy with what he produced. The 300 people who heard, what Barry called, ‘The Redundancy Song’ were not happy, but he definitely spotted at least six of them tapping their feet.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
This poem is part of a challenge for National Poetry Writing Month 2019 – a poem a day celebrating an interesting US national day.
Haley Joel Osment saw some dead people.
It’d been a while, actually,
So he apologised and explained
How busy he’d been lately
And promised to text back more,
But they were having none of it.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
The golfers decided to have a bit of fun and play silly pranks on each other for 18 holes. You know, like swapping each other’s golf balls with eggs. Or replacing each other’s golf clubs with baguettes. Or threatening to kill each other’s young families if they didn’t miss the final putt. Haha, you know, the usual.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
This poem is part of a challenge for National Poetry Writing Month 2019 – a poem a day celebrating an interesting US national day.
Dennis Quaid
Used a spade
To complete most
Of his chores.
It always ended in disaster,
Of course,
But he wasn’t
Going to stop now.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
Laura decided to be kind to lawyers for a day. She gave approximately 336 of them hugs and high-fives and compliments like ‘hello you handsome hero, you!’ She had so much fun doing it she did it again the next day and the next day and the next day and the next day and the subsequent 45 days until she was hit with dozens of restraining orders.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
This poem is part of a challenge for National Poetry Writing Month 2019 – a poem a day celebrating an interesting US national day.
Dame Vivienne Westwood
Bought some chocolate pud
And smeared it all over an old blouse.
It was a tough sell to high street chains,
But she did it.
Of course she did it.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
For years Babs wanted to draw a bird, but every time she got close to one, found a spot to sit, unsheathed her pencils and secured her easel, they’d fly away. She refused to take it personally, but it happened every single time. She refused to take it personally. Once or twice, though, she was convinced a blue tit swore at her as it left. She refused to take it personally. She refused to take it personally.
© Carl Burkitt 2019
This poem is part of a challenge for National Poetry Writing Month 2019 – a poem a day celebrating an interesting US national day.
Carl tells tales 