Don’t ask me why

Written using sentences found by searching for ‘why’ in my WhatsApp search bar.

Why did you do it?
Why am I scared all the time?
Why are you doing circus training?
Why is our son so old and sad?
I don’t know why he hates cuddling us so much.
Why are his balls so big and red?
Why the fuck was I buying a Babybel?
Why do you assume you’re the smartest in the room?
I wondered why I was crying.
I can now see why you were annoyed with me.
Why wouldn’t you want the experience to last longer?

© Carl Burkitt 2020

The things we get

I bang my head in the loft on Sundays.
Our Christmas decorations live neatly behind me
as I enter the roof hatch for emergency access,
but the rest of the space is organised chaos.
My thumbs are too wide to be trusted
to send emails from a phone.
I have grown to love the dappled snowflakes
of pigmentless skin sprinkled across my arms.
I call my son Buddy.
My shoulders don’t feel strong enough sometimes.
I’m still waiting for my thigh-thick wrists,
roast beef hands and eyes
that both fall asleep mid-conversation
and make people feel heard with one look.
I do call inanimate objects Bastards, though,
when they dare to scratch my skin.

© Carl Burkitt 2020

Opening lines of poems I’ll never finish

I woke up in the middle of Dawson’s Creek.
No one knew when the evening would come.
A man coughed until his bus showed up.
I could hear a kettle screaming.
Puddles gathered like gossiping nuns.
I remember everything about that ham sandwich.
Who knew that many people have freckles?
Coffee table dust whispers all day.
Your smile killed a kitten.
I still text you once a year.
I still send you a text once a year.
Once a year I’ll text you before midnight.
I wonder if you know I text you every year.
I don’t know why I bother texting you every year.
I wish I took the time to text you.

© Carl Burkitt 2020

Normal

Normal, please,
was the answer.
What milk would you like?
was the question.
Do you think goats are jealous
of the monopoly of the cows?
Do oats and almonds feel insecure
that they’re not normal enough?
When I watch my son breast feed
is it normal to panic
about him growing up
and being turned into a leather wallet?

© Carl Burkitt 2020

Voyeur

I used to watch the guys at house parties
who would lick their fingertips
to poke them into candle flames
then drip wet wax
on the backs of their hands
and wonder what they were like at sex.

© Carl Burkitt 2020

Zookeeper

You start the day
with the eyes that chose your first goldfish,
a smile as long as a slipper’s opening,
the feet of a puppy on laminate flooring.
Your clean shirt is excited
for a day of sweat and penguin shit –
there’s no time to hibernate
when gentrified jungle cats need brunch.
When asked if you’re scared
you think about the hand of an ex colleague.
Morning handsome, you lie to a giraffe
and skip lunch to count the chimps
like school kids who never understood you.

© Carl Burkitt 2020

Stuff just always happens

I try to cross the road
and I can hear at least two sirens behind me,
a muffled argument in the distance and what
sounds like a window cracking around the corner.
The cartilage in my hip is grinding
like the table leg sized pepper
in the restaurant to my left
with too many different coloured lights.
I can see a puddle swallowing
the reflection of a miserable pigeon
and a bus driver is texting at a red light
while an estate agent is holding a phone
between his ear and shoulder at his desk,
flicking through paperwork with one hand
and tapping his laptop with one finger on the other.
Someone in a pub laughs and a cat licks its paw
and the wind is sideways and the moon blinks
and an old lady forgets me forever.

© Carl Burkitt 2020

Rubbish

Every night
before bin collection day I forget
whether it’s general waste and cardboard
or glass and plastic I need to put out,
so I look outside the living room window to see
what bins the next door neighbour’s lined up,
the one to the left
who trims her shrubs with a smile
and has hair as snow white and trustworthy
as David Attenborough’s.
In the short walk down the stairs
towards my front door I think I hear
her husband in his purple trilby laughing,
convinced today is the day he’s finally tricked me.

© Carl Burkitt 2020