Written using sentences found by searching
for ‘tenner’ in my WhatsApp search bar

I can’t tell you how tense I am.
The tension is pointless.
I tend to cry once a day.

© Carl Burkitt 2021

Gordon Ramsay is in a helicopter
talking about how fucking gigantic
he heard the mangoes are below him.
Watching him run
out of the door, crouching
way more than he needs to
beneath the spinning propellers
reminds me to look after myself.

© Carl Burkitt 2021

The trees
and cows
and skiers
and cabins
and chefs
and minutes
and days
and thoughts
and this
and that
and them
and oh
my goodness.

© Carl Burkitt 2021

Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Cow. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Cow. Car. Car. Car. Car. Crisps. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Could I fit in that boot? Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car.Car. Car. Car. Car. Cow. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. I could fit in that boot. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. I don’t want to be in that boot. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Car. Crisps. Car. Carl. Car. Boot.

© Carl Burkitt 2021

standing in knight of the realm grey armour,
crooked neck, head like it’s always thinking,
in the middle of over grown trees and the-
it’s gone
and the rain is swallowing us
with its forever tarmac tongue.

© Carl Burkitt 2021

They gather at 6am to rehearse for the day
and pretend they’re catching up.
They’re sat on a metal pole
like they all did in the famous picture
where they pretended to be those workers
from the original famous picture
sat on a metal pole.
Lisa Kudrow, the one about half a foot
away from the other five, is singing loudly.
One of them won’t stop saying Joey
in a sort of coo-cooey kind of way.
Their immaculate feathers
make me feel like I don’t know
how to look after myself.
It’s hard to tell which on I find the funniest
now I’m tired all the time.

© Carl Burkitt 2021

I had a dream so big and loud
I jumped so high I touched the clouds,
they also say.
I woke up this morning
as if a water balloon had burst
on my forehead
because I couldn’t remember
if the lizard I’d found
underneath my wrist skin
the night before was real
or not.

© Carl Burkitt 2021

Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
I can’t remember who said that.
When I was having lunch in IKEA last week
I saw the high chair we own
and thought, They must’ve got that from IKEA.
I have a scar on my right arm
after a blonde curly boy sliced it
with the blade of a pencil sharpener
before football training.
He said, Stick your arm out, so I did.
When my wife left Timpson today
with two new keys after two minutes
I thought, Nice one.

© Carl Burkitt 2021

Do you ever not recognise your footprints?
Do you ever run your hands through your hair
and wonder when you put a hat on?
Do you ever catch yourself thinking hurtful things
you can’t believe you’re having about a stranger
and discover it’s you in a shop window?
I looked at my wrist for the time today
and I’ve not worn a watch for five years.
Sometimes my skin is on so tight
I wonder if I’m a vacuum packed ham
or waiting to be born.

© Carl Burkitt 2021

I’m watching a man
doing a handstand
on a set of dumbbells
through my mobile phone
and I can remember the day
the checkout guy at Argos
asked if I wanted to upgrade
to home delivery
when he saw me attempt
to carry the box of weights
I’d just purchased out of the shop
but I said no and now I have a son
and a bad back.

© Carl Burkitt 2021