Paul Rudd made a new bud
Who went by the name Zach Braff.
They’d put on northern English accents
And say “path” and “bath” and “laugh”.
It was all harmless fun. At first.
Until they went to Liverpool
For a weekend away
And mimicked the accent
Every single day.
Soon Zach Braff was drowned in a bath
And Paul was shot on a path for a laugh.
© Carl Burkitt 2018
This poem is part of a challenge for National Poetry Writing Month 2018 – a daily poem for a celebrity’s birthday.
Pharrell Williams made another song.
Every single one of his fans hated it.
He couldn’t have been happier.
© Carl Burkitt 2018
This poem is part of a challenge for National Poetry Writing Month 2018 – a daily poem for a celebrity’s birthday.
Robert Downey Jr.
Started a disc jockey career
And went by the name Bobby DJ.
He wasn’t very good and got violently booed and jeered and bottled off stage,
But ‘at least I followed my dream’, he could say!
Well, write, not say. One of the bottles tore through his neck and killed his voice box.
© Carl Burkitt 2018
This poem is part of a challenge for National Poetry Writing Month 2018 – a daily poem for a celebrity’s birthday.
Eddie Murphy climbed into
the fat suit one last time
and cried himself to death.
© Carl Burkitt 2018
This poem is part of a challenge for National Poetry Writing Month 2018 – a daily poem for a celebrity’s birthday.
Michael Fassbender
Was quite a big spender.
Not big as in expensive,
But big as in size.
He bought foam fingers,
Top hats and giant bow ties.
He bought inflatable rubber dinghies
And a large French fries.
Though the most impressive thing,
One that caused the biggest shock
Was not his jumbo popcorn
Or novelty stick of rock,
But his monstrous, humungous,
Breathtakingly ginormous
cockerel.
© Carl Burkitt 2018
This poem is part of a challenge for National Poetry Writing Month 2018 – a daily poem for a celebrity’s birthday.
Susan Boyle started to sing.
No-one asked her to,
but she did on a whim.
She sang and sang
as the church bells rang
and the entire village smiled.
Susan felt prouder
so sang louder and louder
until her volume exploded a child.
© Carl Burkitt 2018
This poem is part of a challenge for National Poetry Writing Month 2018 – a daily poem for a celebrity’s birthday.
April felt the end was near
She heard it coming in her ear.
But no matter how close it was
She slept and slept and slept.
© Carl Burkitt 2017
This poem is part of a challenge for National Poetry Writing Month 2017 – a different style of poem each day about a woman called April.
April was a fan of nature
Not too much else really pleased her.
Trees and flowers and dogs and cats
They all made her smile and that’s that.
© Carl Burkitt 2017
This poem is part of a challenge for National Poetry Writing Month 2017 – a different style of poem each day about a woman called April.
April so wished for the worst for him,
For his mother and father and precious next of kin.
© Carl Burkitt 2017
This poem is part of a challenge for National Poetry Writing Month 2017 – a different style of poem each day about a woman called April.
April had questions.
Why do you love me? Why do
you love me? Why do you? Why?
© Carl Burkitt 2017
This poem is part of a challenge for National Poetry Writing Month 2017 – a different style of poem each day about a woman called April.
Carl tells tales 