Aaron never understood how people only had one sugar, or even no sugars, in their tea these days. He’d look down his nose at them and mutter “amateurs” as he enjoyed the classic two teaspoons of sugar, three teaspoons of brown sugar, four tablespoons of icing sugar and a pint of skittles in his breakfast tea.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

This poem is part of a challenge for National Poetry Writing Month 2019 – a poem a day celebrating an interesting US national day.

Blake loved saying “blah blah blah” over the top of other people when they talked. “Blah blah blah!” he’d say, wagging his hand like a little mouth. “BLAH BLAH BLAH!” Blake was a millionaire, ran a successful business, had loads of fast cars and a massive house. ‘Yeah, bet he wasn’t truly happy though.’ Nope, you couldn’t be more wrong. He had a lovely family, lots of genuinely kind and caring friends, low blood pressure and slept incredibly well. He just also happened to be a rude, horrible bastard and life just isn’t all that fair sometimes.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

This poem is part of a challenge for National Poetry Writing Month 2019 – a poem a day celebrating an interesting US national day.

Ed Benedict didn’t mind how often his house got egged. It was to be expected, he thought. Plus, over the years he’d gotten pretty good at cleaning yolk off brick. But sliced ham and smoked salmon being posted through his letterbox, toasted English muffins getting smashed through his windows and hollandaise sauce being punched into his kids’ faces were a lot harder to get over.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

This poem is part of a challenge for National Poetry Writing Month 2019 – a poem a day celebrating an interesting US national day.

Sandra looked up at the sky and saw a cloud that looked like her. It was fluffy, grey and full of dread.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

This poem is part of a challenge for National Poetry Writing Month 2019 – a poem a day celebrating an interesting US national day.

Sarah played herself at Scrabble. She couldn’t stop cheating and spent the whole night in tears.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

This poem is part of a challenge for National Poetry Writing Month 2019 – a poem a day celebrating an interesting US national day.

Tracey decided to teach her son all about saving money. It was going really well until he revealed, in his mere 9 years on Earth, he’d saved £3,450 under his racing car shaped bed. Tracey did the maths in her head and realised that was approximately £3,450 more than she’d ever saved in her life, so she reported him to the police accusing him of robbery – the cocky little bastard.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

This poem is part of a challenge for National Poetry Writing Month 2019 – a poem a day celebrating an interesting US national day.

Barry ordered a barbershop quartet. He spent at least 45 hours working on their lines, sweating over every single word, but was eventually happy with what he produced. The 300 people who heard, what Barry called, ‘The Redundancy Song’ were not happy, but he definitely spotted at least six of them tapping their feet.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

This poem is part of a challenge for National Poetry Writing Month 2019 – a poem a day celebrating an interesting US national day.

The golfers decided to have a bit of fun and play silly pranks on each other for 18 holes. You know, like swapping each other’s golf balls with eggs. Or replacing each other’s golf clubs with baguettes. Or threatening to kill each other’s young families if they didn’t miss the final putt. Haha, you know, the usual.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

This poem is part of a challenge for National Poetry Writing Month 2019 – a poem a day celebrating an interesting US national day.

Laura decided to be kind to lawyers for a day. She gave approximately 336 of them hugs and high-fives and compliments like ‘hello you handsome hero, you!’ She had so much fun doing it she did it again the next day and the next day and the next day and the next day and the subsequent 45 days until she was hit with dozens of restraining orders.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

This poem is part of a challenge for National Poetry Writing Month 2019 – a poem a day celebrating an interesting US national day.

For years Babs wanted to draw a bird, but every time she got close to one, found a spot to sit, unsheathed her pencils and secured her easel, they’d fly away. She refused to take it personally, but it happened every single time. She refused to take it personally. Once or twice, though, she was convinced a blue tit swore at her as it left. She refused to take it personally. She refused to take it personally.

© Carl Burkitt 2019

This poem is part of a challenge for National Poetry Writing Month 2019 – a poem a day celebrating an interesting US national day.